Lilli's corner

Tired of waiting

2011-08-31T01:16:00.003+02:00

Tired of waiting

waiting for what to come

but what is coming?

i don't know, that's why i am waiting

but what if nothing is to come?

what if it is what it is now?

stop imagining

stop waiting

I'm so tired of drawing a tomorrow, and tomorrow comes different

The moment is precious..

but the waiting kills the moment

Dream and reality together are life

waiting makes life like a heavy burden on the shoulders

and the moment collapses under the weight

Tired of waiting and waiting

while flowers blossom

and the sun rises and falls again and again

no waiting is worth it

tired of waiting

Justice, where art thou?

2011-08-17T13:27:00.000+02:00

I read today a very disturbing piece of news in a newspaper. It is about a Bangladeshi woman who jumped in front of a speedy train with her 4 children! She & 2 of her children died, while the other 2 were critically wounded.

Why did she commit suicide? Because the local court of her village condemned her for adultry with her neighbour, and judged her to leave the village with her children. She felt too ashamed and decided to kill herself and her children.

What's distrubing to me was:

1. She was a lonely woman raising her 4 children alone, because her husband is working in the UAE. Too sad that financial circumstances lead to the break up of a family and leave the woman alone, prone to seduction.

2. There was no word written about a verdict agaisnt the man (the co-adultrer) and she alone was to leave the village. So unfair and unhuman.

3. This is NOT a legal court, it is a local council (magles 3orfy) and it should not issue such sentences. As stated by the news, it should be only concerned with settleing disputes about lands or local fights. They just made themselves Gods and sentenced this woman just for their own satisfaction, driving this poor woman to her death with her own hands.

Tooooooo sad...

Justice, where art thou?

كتير .. كتير

2011-08-15T09:23:00.005+02:00

ليه أصبحنا عاوزين دايماً كتير؟ سؤال محيرنى

ليه الإنسان دلوقتى كل أهدافه تحمل في معناها الكترة؟ عايز فلوس كتير - فسح كتير - لبس كتير - أكل كتير... هل الكترة دى بتجلب سعادة؟ ما أظنش

أظن فقط هى وسائل لملئ فراغات

فراغات نفسية أو روحية
إحساس بنقص فى حاجة معينة ومحاولة تعويضة أو التغطية عليه
والفكرة بتتأكد كل يوم من الإعلانات والمحلات اللى عايزة تبيع
رسايل الدعايا كلها بتدق على إنك مش هتكون سعيد كفاية أو مميز كفاية لو ماشترتش السلعة الفلانية
ومش بس كدة، واحدة بس مش كفاية: أنا هساعدك تبقى أسعد لأنى هديلك 2 بسعر واحدة - أو 3 بسعر 2 ... شفت بقى يا سيدى.. كدة أنا ظبطتك

هما فى الآخر عايزين يبيعوا ويكسبوا فلوس (فلوس أكتر برضه!!) لكن عارفين يدخلوا منين

عارفين إن الإغراء سهل لما أغريك بالكترة
طب وبعدين؟ ولا قبلين.. ما هو عشان كده إحنا عايشين فى عالم إستهلاكى خانق! لازم تشت عن الباقى لما تكون فاهم إن الكتير فى الآخر رخيص
والحاجات القيمة فعلاً لا تقاس
الحاجات اللى فعلاً محتاجين منها كتيييييير مش قادرين نديها ، مع إنها كلها ببلاش
محتاجين حب أكتر ، مغفرة أكتر ، تواضع أكتر ، صبر أكتر وإهتمام أكتر

إنما عشان أسهل إنك تدفع جنيه عن إنك تحاول تحب حد مانتاش بتحبه ، هنفضل نشترى ونجرى ورا الأكتر

وحيثما يكون كنزك ، هناك يكون قلبك

السوس فى الآخر هياكل الكتير ده كله ، إنما محبة الناس ليك مثلاً دى عمرها ماتروح
وحنية أهلك عليك وإهتمامهم بيك ، عمرك ما هتلاقيها فى عرض: إشترى 2 وأحصل على التالتة مجاناً

حب وسامح وعيش

أكتر وأكتر

A HAPPY OLD DOG

2011-08-15T09:19:00.002+02:00

A HAPPY OLD DOG

by Roger Kiser

My seven year old granddaughter, Madison, asked me if I would come toher field day at school the next day. Not feeling very well I really didn't want to go. For years, going to such things meant very little to me. Not having any parents and having been raised in an orphanage my entire childhood; those kinds of events just became something to do and nothing more because there was never anyone there for us. The next morning I got up and began to think about the day I graduated from the Army basic training. How proud I was to have succeeded atsomething in my life. When the ceremony was over, every soldier ran to their parents and off they went to wherever families go who love oneanother. Within thirty minutes the parade ground was cleared and there I stood all alone. There was no one who cared about what I had accomplished.I remember tears running down my cheeks and as I wiped them away I thought soldiers don't cry now cause they're men. Slowly I walked off the parade ground and I went to wherever it is kids go that don't have anyone or anywhere to go. Immediately, I dressed and headed for Madison's school. When I arrived, the field day had been called off because of bad weather and the children were being herded back to their classrooms. I walked to Madi'sclassroom and when she saw me a large smile appeared on her face. On my way back home this wonderful feeling came over me and finally -- afterfifty years -- I felt what it was like to have someone attend my Army graduation parade. I see now it's all about caring. I was never given a sense that anyone cared so I did not learn to give back to those I love. I supposemost people who were given such feeling as a child now take it for granted. What a wonderful feeling caring is. Today I am one happy old dog who has learned a new and wonderful trick.

From: http://www.heartwarmers.com

شرطة عن شرطة تفرق

2011-07-28T14:20:00.004+02:00

الموقف ده حصل قدامي مش سمعته من حد

كنت أنا وزوجي راكنين العربية مستنيين سندوتشات من محل أكل سريع .. وجمبنا عربية شرطة كويتي فيها 2 ظباط مستنيين سندوتشات برده .. كله عادي

شوية وجه واحد من المحل ... عامل مصري بسيط .. جه ل شباك عربية الشرطة وطلب منه يحرك عربيته عشان في عربية نقل ضخمة محتاجة تدخل تنزل بضاعة

أنا قلت أكيد الظابط هايديله كلمتين ويتنح ... ماهو أنا مش واخدة على إن الشرطة في خدمة أي حد

إنما اللي حصل إن قبل ما العامل المصري البسيط يكمل كلامه .. كان الظابط اتعدل في الكرسي وبدأ يشغل محرك العربية فعلا ... وساب مكانه للعربية النقل ... بس كده

لا خناقة قامت ولا سمعنا أي شتايم

أصل شرطة عن شرطة تفرق

حالة اللخبطة المشروعة

2011-07-28T13:08:00.010+02:00

متلخبط؟ اراءاك بتتغير كتير وترجع تندم إنك عبرت عنه قدام الناس ورجعت غيرته بينك وبين نفسك ؟ ساعات تقول فلان ده 100 100 وتاني يوم تقرأ حاجة جديدة تخليك تقول ده ابن كذا وكذا ؟

عادي

والنعمة عادي

كلنا هذا الرجل .. متخافش ومتضايقش وتخاف على نفسيتك وتقول أروح اكشف عند دكتور نفسي .. الفكرة إننا كلنا في حالة لخبطة بس مشروعة ... عشان كتير مننا ماكانش بيفهم أي حاجة في السياسة ومش متابعين ... نقرأ عن حاجات كانت بتحصل فالبلد ونفوتها بسهولة عشان إما مش مهتمين أو مالناش حيلة فيها .. حتى اللي كان بيفهم في السياسة ومتابع قوي .. كان باييده إيه ؟

وبعدين احنا يا محترم بيتلعب بينا بشكل لا يتخيله أحد على الاطلاق ... في خطط بتدبر وبتتنفذ باحتراف علي جدا .. ونشوف احنا بس الظواهر ونتلخم في التفسيرات وكل واحد يقول رأي والتاني يشتم والتالت يضرب ونضيع أيام في القصة دي ... وبالتالي تكون الخطة نجحت ... عشان هي بتبقى خطة للالهاء ... ولو ركزتو هي نفسها خطط زمان بس يمكن بموديلات جديدة .. يعني بدل الكورة والغلا والأغاني والكليبات ... هم نفسهم وزاد عليهم الاحزاب, والانتخابات امتى , والحق البلد هتبقى اسلامية والاقباط هايتدبح.... والناحية التانية يقولك العلمانيين وهيخلو الرجالة تتجوز بعض .... الخ

ونتوه مع الأيام

عارفين فيلم البداية بتاع صلاح ابوسيف؟ فيلم تحفة اللي ماشافهوش لازم يشوفه

في مشهد كده واصف حالتنا الايام دي بالمللي

المشهد عبارة عن الاتي:

الشعب الغلبان قرر يروح يواجه الطاغية ويطلبوا دستور وانتخابات

هو مقالش لأ ... قال أكيد يا اولاد, أنا معاكم, تعالوا وانا هعملكو كل اللي تطلبوه .. أنا عازمكم عني في الفيلا بتاعتي

ودخلوا , وجبلهم عرقي وادوها شرب لما سكره وعميوا وشوية بدأوا يغنوا ويرقصوا .. شوية اتخانقوا وشوية اعدوا يطبلوا للباقي

الطاغية كان مبسوط طحن وقعد يقولهم: أرقصو وغنوا يا كلاب .. اتسلوا

المشهد اللي بعده إن الشعب المطحون مرمي في الشمس .. والطاغية في الفيلا مستربع

حد فهم حاجة ؟

اللي فقسين اللعبة هم اللي لسة في التحرير ... أيوه, هم دول بجد اللي فاهمين .. وما شربوش عرقي

احنا بقى شوية نصدق إنهم خونة, نصدق إنهم ليهم اجندة, تاني يوم نقول لأ عندهم حق ... تالت يوم نقول هم مازهقوش ؟! وهـ كذا

بس معلش ... احنا قلنا إنها لخبطة مشروعة

احنا عاملين زي واحد خلف ولد وحبسه في أوضا سنين... بعدين الاب مات والواد بقى حر أكتر .. بس يا حرام مش عارف يعني إيه حرية .. فـبيتعلم لسة وبيعك أحيانا

بس مصيره يتعلم ويعرف اللي فاته

فـما تقلقوش .. بس المهم بعد مانتعلم هنعمل إيه؟ لازم يبقى لينا موقف .. لازم يكون لينا رأي .. عشان دي حياتنا .. مش ل أي سبب تاني

للاسف مش لاقية المشهد اللي وصفته على اليوتيوب ... بس ده مشهد تاني من فيلم البداية .. شوفوه وفكره شوية

http://youtu.be/m6x7sv2ztu0

بس اللى مطمينى ان فيه دم بيصرخ لربنا وربنا هيجيب حقه غصب عننا

------------------------------

شكراً لمايكل رمزى - جابلى لينك لفيلم البيداية

http://www.rekza.com/Films+singlevideo.cid+7+lid+529.htm

Take me there

2008-11-23T21:44:00.000+02:00

This is an unfinished piece that i found in the drafts... i just wanted it posted unfinished like this.
-------------------------------------------------------

Take me to the place
The place where the sky is clear blue
The blue cloudless sky of autumn
Take me to enjoy the gentle sun beam on my face
The smile
I miss the smile facing the sun
I miss seeing smiles all around

Take me where they still believe each other
Where they still smile to each other for real
Take me where evil still makes some effort to invade hearts

Today's Quote

2008-10-12T14:26:00.000+02:00

Tough times never last, tough people do.

Robert Schuller

Stop being needy.. start living

2008-10-11T18:50:00.003+02:00

Most of our time we spend it on trying to satisfy ourselves, buying stuff, looking for things or people to please ourselves. It became the main concern of our modern life. In fact we turned to needy people. People whose lives depend on things, events and other people's attention.

Don't you see something wrong in that??

When all people become needy, who will give? Who will give these needs and attention? When i am focusing all my power on my needs, and who will provide me with what will make me happy, and what i should do to keep me satisfied.. it is a waste of time, and a wasted life. We were not created on this Earth only to please and satisfy ourselves, we are not babies who should be taken care of every second. We have more potentials than just being those ugly needy creatues.

Stop being needy.. start living. Start making a purpose out of your life. Give without waiting to receive back. Give love to the people around you. Give attention to the ones really in need. Give sympathy to the ones in pain. Stop waiting for your life partner to always give you, because he is also waiting for you to give... and both of you will end up unsatisfied, with unfulifilled needs. That's why relationships fail. Instead of waiting, stand up and start living and giving. When you give, your partner will be happy and he will start giving you back. That's when the love flow grows and continues. And that's when we start being real people, not needy creatures.

هل تظنه بعيد؟

2008-06-28T00:38:00.003+03:00

فهل تظنه بعيد؟

هل تظن أنه صعب المنال؟

لا بل هو قريب جداً

الحب قريب لمن يفتح قلبه له

الحب منتظرك خلف الباب، حتى متى قررت فتح الباب تلقاه حينها

ليس خيال أو أسطورة نتناقلها

بل حياة وأمل وفرح

ليس ببعيد

وليس مستحيل

فعندما تحب نفسك وتحب الحياة

وعندما تدرك قيمة الحب نفسه

تلقاه

وتحياه

لن تجد الحبيب إلا عندما تدرك معانى التضحية والإخلاص

عندما تدرك أن ما تتمسك به ليس له قيمة

عندما تكن مستعداً لإعطاء الحنان وأخذه

تجده

وتحفظه فى قلبك وتحكم الغلق

لئلا يضيع

ليس هو ببعيد

ليس بغريب

لن ترى حبيبك المجهول كما فى الروايات الرومانسية

فتقع فى حبه من أول نظرة

بل حبيبك هو من قضيت معه أحلى أيامك وأحلكها

هو من مسح دمعك، وفرح لفرحك

إفتح له قلبك وكلمه

قل له كم أنت محتاج للحب والدفء

إحكى له عن ضعفك قبل قوتك

إقترب

أكثر

فهو ليس بغريب

وليس ببعيد

إفتح قلبك الآن ثم عينك

فتش حولك عنه، تجده

هل تظنه بعيد؟

لا ليس ببعيد

هو هنا.. قربك

Feeling unhappy?

2008-06-28T00:18:00.005+03:00

This is directed to all people who are feeling unhappy at this moment!

If you are feeling unhappy, then the most obvious and easiest solution is to blame it on others or the circumstances, right?

WRONG

Happiness really comes from the state of mind. If u think u should be happy, u will be happy. The opposite is also true. So u r doing the trick to urself !

A human being doesn't really need all the things that life is offering now, to be happy. It is an old deception that we all fall into its trap. The needs of a human being doesn't go out of the Mazlo's pyramids of needs. Even the higher levels, like self achievment & feeling one's value, can still be achieved.

So what is the trick? The trick is from inside. You have to sit with ur self first and see what REALLY makes u happy, not what others tell u that u should own or do to be happy. Don't think it is easy... it is complicated, cause by time, the extra stuff is now considered basic.

Let's take an example. Television. Like 60 years ago, TV was Sceince Fiction. A person who owned one, was considered the wealthy, up to date man. By time, the poorer people got hands on it and was a common entertaining equipment. Could u have imagined that after only 60 years, having a TV with sattelite dish installed is a must now? and who doesn't have one thinks he "should" have it one day? knowing that 60 years is nothing in the age of humanity.

Forget about things. Forget about places. A person would really be happy having loving people around him in his own comfortable place. So look around you, if u dont find this comfy place, or those loving people around u, then u should be unhappy. But if u don't have a G3 mobile phone connected to the sattelite, and feeling unhappy about it, then it's ur pure fault.

Life is precious. Don't waste it in worry or disappointment. Stop looking for what u don't have, and forgetting to enjoy what u do have. It's not easy believe me. I'm telling this to u, and to myself first. Be ambitious, no problem, but don't be ungrateful. Be thankful, for the good will go away from the unthankful.

So decide today if u want to go on with acting the lead role in the misery play, while u don't have a real script. Or just come out of ur coma, and start enjoying life again.

Don't worry :) Be happy :)

Beginnings..

2008-06-28T00:12:00.002+03:00

Everything in its beginning is beautiful..
New things are always glamorous and shiny..

We get excited, we look forwards and hope.
We wish the days run quicker and bring new joys.

Beginnings are beautiful and wakes up our souls.
What if we can keep this spirit up for longer?
What if we try maintaining the excitment?
Won't this be even more beautiful?

But can we really do this? Or beginnings are just beautiful because they are beginnings?

Think about it..

Today's Quote

2008-06-04T09:11:00.002+03:00

A well-developed sense of humor

is the pole that adds balance

to your steps as you

walk the tightrope of life.

William A. Ward

فى مسألة الجواز 2

2008-06-01T21:06:00.002+03:00

أنا عجبتنى الكتابة فى الموضوع ده بصراحة

:)))

كتير قالولى ان الأسباب اللى فى المقال اللى فات مش هى كل حاجة

ما هو طبعاً فى أسباب أكتر لمشاكل الجواز

طبعاً أشهرها المسائل المادية

المشكلة ان الجواز عبر السنين كان دايما وسيلة فك عقد أو اعلان انتصار معين أو انتقام، أو ببساطة منظره

العريس جاب شبكة بكام، والفرح اتكلف اد ايه، واتعمل فين

بلا هم

كل ده ملهوش لازمة فعلاً وضياع فلوس ومجهود وأعصاب

مجرد تمسك بمظاهر غبية وعقد مقارنات بين العائلات

وتسمع جمل بقى زى: ده العريس جابلها شبكة ب25 ألف جنيه

ايه قيمة حجر بيلمع فى صباع بنت واحدة، وفى ناس جوازها كله ميتكلفش المبلغ ده؟

ينفع بايه الحجر ده، ولا عفش الشقة، والسفرة أم 30 ألف، لما الزوجة تبقى قاعدة تبكى فى البيت لوحدها ومتلاقيش ايد حنينة تمسح دموعها، والبيه مثلاً سهران مع أصحابه؟

ينفع بايه ده لما تبقى الزوجة عينيها فى وسط راسها وعلطول عايشة فى قلق عشان جوزها كل يوم ليه قصة مع غيرها

الناس خلاص بقت تاخد كل ما هو تافه وتحطه فى المقدمة، وكل ما هو مظاهر عبيطة وتعتبره هو ده الجواز

بس فى ناس بتعتبر الزنقة اللى بيحطوا فيها العريس دى دليل على جديته وانه مش ناوى يبيع بسهولة

ويكع ياعينى الراجل ويبقى نفسه يعمل كل حاجة زى ماهما عاوزين، ويتجوز فعلاً، وبدل بقى ما يريح باله، ويبقى سعيد، يفاجأ بأن مطالب الهانم مبتخلصش، ولو قال لأ، يلقى البوز المتين متصدر الشاشة

والبنت طول الوقت حاطة عينيها على أصحابها وجيرانها وقرايبها

سافروا فين، جابو ايه، عربيتهم شاكلها ايه

وتنسى

تنسى يعنى ايه جواز وعشرة واتنين بقوا واحد

ليه الانسان يقرف نفسه وينكد على روحه؟

مش جوزك (أو مراتك) النص التانى

يعنى لو نكدت على نصك التانى، حتبقى مبسوط؟

ليه البنت نسيت انها فاكهة البيت، اللى تطبطب وتدلع

وليه الراجل مابقاش قد المسئولية؟ العامود اللى الأسرة كلها تتسند عليه

ونرجع نقول مفيش رجالة عدلة، مفيش بنات

ماهو لا البنات فاهمين ازاى يبقوا بنات

ولا الرجالة فاكرين ايه الرجولة

الجواز مش سوليتير ولا فرح فى فندق

لو يقدروا يعملوا الكلام ده، جميل

بس مش ده الهدف

الهدف هو شركة طول العمر

هو حب يجمع الطرفين، والأسرتين

هو بيت يتبنى بالحب والأمل

ده مش كلام أغانى

ده اللى مفروض يحصل

فى مسألة الجواز

2008-05-31T01:02:00.004+03:00

كل الناس بتشتكى من الجواز

الرجالة تشتكى ان مفيش بنات كويسة خلاص

والبنات بتشتكى ان مفيش رجالة تستاهل

طيب يعنى هى فزورة

ما دول موجودين ودول موجودين، ليه كل واحد مش شايف التانى؟

أنا شايفة الاجابة من وجهة نظرى ان كل طرف من الطرفين اتخلى عن دوره الأساسى فى الجواز، وتخلى عن المميزات اللى مفروض تكون فيه علشان ينجّح جوازه

البنات حصلهم تغيير: بقوا معتمدين على نفسهم قوى فى كل حاجة، ودى كانت تبقى حاجة كويسة لو كانوا فضلوا لسه عندهم الفهم الطبيعى لأدوارهم فى المجتمع وفى الجواز

لكن كتير وقعوا ضحية للنزعات الاستقلالية للمرأة، وان الست مش محتاجة للراجل

ماهو مش لازم يكون الاحتياج فيه مذلة واعتمادية، ليه مايكونش احتياج تكميلى وبناء علشان الحياة تكتمل وجوهها

وكل طرف تكمل دايرته فى الدنيا

أصبحت البنت رافضة لدورها كأنثى، عاوزة تبقى دايماً كسبانة وتحس ان لو فى يوم مشت كلام الراجل تبقى هى اتكسرت

بقى فيه صراع غريب كأن الطرفين دول متنافسين

نسيت البنت انها لازم تكون الفرحة والجمال فى حياة الراجل

نسيت تعرف ازاى تبقى انثى جذابة، مش بس تبقى مهندسة ولا دكتورة

احتقرت كل ما هو بيفرقها عن الراجل، رغم ان ده تميزها وجمالها الخاص

طب يعنى هى البنت السبب لوحدها؟ لأ طبعاً مايصحش

الراجل كمان أكيد عنده غلط

أكيد الرجالة بتقول : ليه كده ماحنا كنا كويسين

بس الراجل كتير بينسى انه المسئول عن الأسرة

فى كل حاجة: القرارات المهمة، الحماية، الصرف

مش لازم يكون هو الوحيد اللى بيكسب فلوس ويصرف

بس يكون هو راعى الأسرة اللى بيفكر ويخطط ويدبر

وماينساش أن دايماً الست بتدور عن الجدعنة

ليه الرجالة اتخلت عن جدعنتها وحسوا ان خلاص مش فارقة

هل علشان الست حاسة باستقلالها طول الوقت ورافضة تخضع لزوجها

ولا عشان احساس الرجالة نفسه بالضعف نتيجة ظروف الحياة

الجواز ده عامل زى ثمرة الفاكهة: القشرة الخارجية اللى بتحافظ عليها وتديلها شكلها وجمالها ورونقه هو الراجل

والست هى قلب الثمرة الحلو الجميل المخصوص للثمرة دى وبس

والأطفال هما البذور اللى جوه، اللى في يوم من الأيام حيبقوا ثمار تانية ويكملوا الحياه

لو كل طرف رجع افتكر دوره ايه وايه المطلوب منه، مش حيبقى فى صراع

لأنه أصلاً مفيش تعارض فى الأدوار

المفروض يكملوا بعض

يساعدوا بعض بالحب والتفاهم

ماينفعش كل طرف عاوز يبقى الكسبان واللى مايتنازلش أبدا

ونرجع نقول بعد كدة

مفيش رجالة

مفيش ستات

لأ هو الحقيقة مفيش فهم صح وحكمة فى الاقدام على الجواز والاختيار

What's eating Gilbert Grape

2008-01-13T22:24:00.000+02:00

Inspired by the movie "What's eating Gilbert Grape"

It's up to you in the end. You can run away from your problems, or you can stay and try to deal with them. But be careful, while dealing with them, you must put your values and guide lines in front of you.

You can be a coward, or you can be a "good preson". It's your choice. But whatever choice you make, it's up to you. Don't blame no one else.

A person with no problems, is there such a thing?? Everyone has his own form of problems and dilemmas. They might be hiding somewhere, but sure they exist.

If you pay attention, you'll find that others are trying to make you sneak in and have a look at their problems, the source of pains in their lives. If you aren't interested, and don't want to have a look, they'll shut away the peaking window.

Then there might comes a time when the load is too much, and you feel like running away. You start your runaway road, but you are never able to take the load off your chest. You run but the further you run, the heavier the load gets.

.........

can't live without it

2007-11-18T00:38:00.001+02:00

It's when u feel so white and blue, and your mind is summer sky clear...
you pick up a brush, and draw a milky way..
you sit by the beach, and let the sand run through your fingers.
you hold your pet close and look in to its eyes
you put a loving kiss on your love's cheek, just next to his mouth
.
.
It's when u feel so hurt..
colors seem to fade ..
you pick up ur violin
and let it cry out ur pain with its melancholic blares
as it drips between your arms, your soul drips blood.. and the wound gets purified
.
.
It's when u feel reddish waves of anger
you want to scream out loud, and let the rage loose
your run, you climb, you break stones
you turn your anger into power.. into the power of will
.
.
It's when u get doubtful and confused
you lose track of your daily thoughts.. your hopes and dreams
you find the word "reach out" describing you perfectly
you reach out for your paper and pen
you pour yourself into a friend's heart and lap
no need for advice
just a pat or a hug does it all
.
.
don't be afraid
for even fear, will teach u .. will push u one step ahead
.
lay down the sandy beach and enjoy the sun one your face
.
make the violin cry with you, for it has no better use..
.
your paint brush looks so much better when paint is staining it, and the new road is drawn on a piece of white new cloth
.
hold him tightly, study his face closely
when he goes out of your sight, you'll have his picture in your heart
.
and when the red waves hit you.. hang on, cling to me, i can bear you in your wildest.. just promise me, you will always be true to your life..

ما انتوا بتعرفوا تعملوا مسلسلات عدله أهو

2007-09-23T15:18:00.000+02:00

رمضان بقى ومسلسلاته... من كام سنة وانا مش مهتميه بأى حاجة بتتعرض فالتليفزيون، ولا بتابع أى مسلسل

انما السنادى، أول مرة مسلسل يشدنى، و طلع اننا بنعرف نعمل حاجة عليها القيمة أهو

مسلسل "قضية رأى عام" بتاع يسرا، مصدقتش فى الأول اننا لسه عندنا حاجة مش هايفة ولا مستفزة نعرضها فى المسلسلات، أخيراً كلام جد مفيد وبيقول حاجة

ببساطة مسلسل فعلاً مهم وبيناقش مش بس قضية الاغتصاب ، انما بيناقش كل عيوب وتخلف مجتمعنا، واننا مهما ظهرنا متحضرين ومتفتحين، لسه كل اللى جوانا زى ماهو زى أجدادنا

أحلى حاجة فى المسلسل انه جاب ردود أفعال أسر كل ضحية على حسب بيئتهم ومستواهم، بس المشترك بينهم انهم كلهم اعتبروا المغتصبة دى عار وفضيحة ولازم يتكتم عليها، ممنوع نبلغ البوليس لحسن نتفضح!! وكأن المجنى عليه هو الجانى

رد الفعل الطبيعى ماكنش الغضب من الجانى، انما كان ان العار طال العيلة، وكأن متقبل ومتوقع ان سلوك زى ده يحصل، انما كل المشكلة انه يحصل لحد من أهلى، من بيتى

كل بلاوى مجتمعاتنا طلعت فى المسلسل، بجد مبسوطة ان لسه فى ناس بتفهم وبتعمل حاجة ليها قيمة

تابعوا المسلسل

;)

Today's Quote

2007-09-23T12:38:00.001+02:00

Expect trouble as an inevitable part of life,

and when it comes, hold your head high.

Look it squarely in the eye, and say,

"I will be bigger than you.

You cannot defeat me."

Ann Landers

when u thought you figured it all out...

2007-09-02T10:34:00.000+03:00

"To live only for some future goal is shallow. It's the sides of the mountain that sustain life, not the top." Robert M. Pirsig

in the twinkling night

2007-08-10T11:50:00.000+03:00

in the twinkling night..
when she lets her hair loose on her shoulders..
and her bangs fall softly on her eyes..
she takes off her dusty cloths..
and puts on a tender night gown..

she sighs with a moan..
and lets all her muscles relax..
then her sky starts to clear, and stars appear..
her rivers run slower, carrying the boats to the calmest places..
giggles and laughs fill her silence
and friends gather

the streets look its best
when all the noise disappears
and you can hear her breath
calmly
without the covers
without the dust

she then shows her best
reminding people of how beautiful she is
and how they could be humans again

..

2007-08-05T17:08:00.000+03:00

Knowing a lot and understanding things perfectly can be..
Getting a firm grip on technology and all complex things that life is offering now is possible..
Managing everything with a sharp mind..

Knowing the paths and how to go through them without getting lost..
But all knowledge stands still in front of a baby crying
Sharp minds paralyze on the touch of a loving woman
Perfect plans fall apart when faced by a human tragedy

No matter how deep we know about things, we can never get deep enough into human nature
Logical explanations can not always be found to explain why humans act the way they do
Don't try to comprehend jealousy, or measure love, or estimate anger..
The most complex sceinces stand small next to the joy of a lover when seeing his beloved
The tear of a child can melt the tough hearts

In the night

2007-07-14T17:09:00.001+03:00

In the night, in the open air
And the summer wind is blowing gently on my face
I sit there very calm and relax
Nothing is worrying me
Nothing is being planned for
I look at the surroundings
The big tree and the high buildings
The cars parking in every place
Few people moving in the streets
And I also have a look at my life
What's gone and what's already been done
I look at my life and think
Did I make good use of it till now?
All the different paths I could have taken and didn't
And all those I did take
And I found the words in my mouth and heart
It was all worth it
All the turns and bumps
All the mellow paths paved with green lawn
And the bumpy roads with edgy stones
Yes it was worth it
For all this contributed in making what I am today
And still the word in my month till today
I've never ever regretted one single thing
Never went till the end with a path I know it'll take me no where
Or will take me where I don't want to be
So on this cool summer night
I sat there admiring what's around
And what's inside
And I found this rare thing deep inside me
What people spend their lives looking for
Struggling with their world and searching for an alternative
I simply found it
The peace
The content
The deep feeling of satisfaction
With what that had passed
And what have been done
And with what’s still coming
And what could be done

Sunday 10 June 2007.

تردى

2007-07-14T16:44:00.000+03:00

حالة عامة من التردى
حالة طالت كل شئ
الانسان بشكل عام
والعقول والنفوس بشكل خاص
كلمة التردى تملأ فكرى
و لا أجد لها بديلاً لتفسير ما يحدث

التردى هو التحول من جيد إلى سئ أو من سئ إلى أسوأ
لا يوجد فى حياتنا الآن ما يمكن أن يتحول للأفضل
فقط حالة التردى

تردى فى الأخلاق، وعدم وجود ما يدعوللسمو بالأخلاق
فكل ما هو فاسد وقبيح يكسب الآن

تردى فى الأحلام، كل من لا زال يحلم فهو يحلم بالملذات والحماقات
أو بالقوة والنفوذ، فلا يذل ممن تردت أخلاقه

تردى فى علاقاتنا، لا نستأمن الآخر، لا نستطيع محبته
الآخر هو خطر قائم يهدد مصالحنا دائماً

تردى فى مجتمعات كنائسنا، أصبحنا اما مشعوذين، نتبارك بتقبيل الأيدى ومسح الأيقونات
اما منافقين نمدح الرتب ونعلنهم قديسين وهم أحياء بيننا
إما مرائين، نسجد فى الهياكل وقلوبنا ملآنة دناسة
نملأ أفواهنا وأرففنا بكلام كثير لا نعيه
فقد وصل التردى لأرواحنا كما لنفوسنا

تردى فى أعمالنا، لا نقوم بأعمالنا بالشكل المطلوب إلا اذا تأكدنا من وجود مراقب نتقى شره أو نتعمد لفت أنظاره
كل يبحث عن مصلحته الشخصية من كل حرف يكتبه، وليس مصلحة العمل
نضيع ساعات وساعات فى نفى مسئوليتنا عن الأخطاء، أو محاولات سلب النجاحات، فلا نجد الوقت الكافى للعمل فى النهاية

التردى ملكنا، وأصبح العادى والسائد
عندما يتغير هذا النمط، وينعكس التردى إلى تحسن، نخاف ونتشكك
ونشكك وننقب محاولين اثبات وهمية هذا التحسن

لا أدرى لما أكتب هذا
فالتردى الذى تسرب للنفوس لن يجعل لهذه الكلمات صدى فينا
لكننى أكتبه
ربما هو أمل فى التحسن
وربما دعوة لنفيق ونتمرد على حالة التردى
لنحاول تغيير النمط ان كان التردى لم يمس عقولنا بعد
فالعقل وحده يعى نتيجة كل ما يتسرب الينا من مزيد من التردى

تعالوا نحاول ، نحاول أن نحسن عمل شئ واحد

Today's Quote

2007-06-05T17:13:00.001+03:00

"Forget mistakes.

Forget failures.

Forget everything except

what you're going to do now and do it.

Today is your lucky day."

Will Durant

Painful to think about..

2007-06-02T10:50:00.000+03:00

هوذا أنت تسمى يهودياً، وتتكل على الناموس، وتفتخر بالله، وتعرف مشيئته، وتميز الأمور المتخالفة، متعلماً من الناموس وتثق أنك قائد للعميان، ونور للذين في الظلمة، ومهذب للأغبياء، ومعلم للأطفال،ولك صورة العلم والحق في الناموس. فأنت إذاً الذي تُعَلِّمُ غيرك، ألست تُعَلِّمُ نفسك؟ الذي تكرز: أن لا يُسرق أتسرق؟ الذي تقول أن لا يُزْنَى أتَزْنِي؟ الذي تَسْتَكْرِهُ الأوثان، أتسرق الهياكل؟ الذي تفتخر بالناموس؟ أبتعدي الناموس تهين الله؟ لأن اسم الله يُجَدَّفُ عليه بسببكم بين الأمم، كما هو مكتوب
(رو 2: 17 ـ 24)

Flashlight

2007-06-02T10:23:00.001+03:00

Why is it the trend now to talk and debate more than working? Our lives are filled now with more words that we need, and much less actions that we should be doing.

I've always said: "I do not trust people whose jobs depend on their talks", and being eloquent should never be a measure of productivity. And on the other hand, the less you talk should be adding to the balance of your actions.

So please, yes you, please: try to work more than talking about what you should do. At least save us hearing what we do not need to hear, and do what could be useful!

And believe me, it feels so good when you look at your own hands creation, feels better than your happiness with the sound of hands clapping to your articulate words.

My churches adventures in Izmir :)

2007-06-02T10:20:00.001+03:00

Churches in Izmir

"I need to write this down before I forget how peaceful and happy I am today. I woke up early today determined to visit a church in Izmir. The passed days I noticed 2 churches near the hotel, one very close, and another on the main street behind the hotel. So, 8 o'clock in the morning I got up, and I was in the street heading for church at 8:30."

This is how I started writing about my church visits in Izmir, but I never finished it while I was in Izmir, so am finishing it now.

The first few, short visits to Izmir, I didn't look for a church in the neighborhood. But during the long stays, I started to search for one, and I found 3!

The first was the one beside the hotel, just 5 minutes away walking in the same street of the hotel. It was a 100 years old Italian Catholic church. The service was in Italian! and the priest looked a lot like the late Pope John Paul II

And for my surprise, I arrived at 8:30 and found the service is almost finishing! Ten minutes later it was the communion, and at exactly 8:45 it was over!

I looked around and had a look at the attendants: most of them were elderly people, of different nationalities, and in total there were round 20 people in the church. They didn't know each other, and as soon as the service was over, they quickly left the church. I went to one of the old ladies before she goes away, and asked her when does the service start, and she answered: 8:15! And I asked her again: 8:15? She said yes, with a suspicious look!

It mean I arrived at exactly the mid of the service J it was only 30 minutes long! And I remembered the average service in Egypt is not less than 2 hours by any means J

Then I went to the second church that I had noticed on the way back from work one day. I was like 15 minutes or less walking from the hotel. Since the first service I attended was only 15 min. so I decided to go and check the other one. And am so glad I did.

The second church was a 40 or 50 year old Evangelical church, called Saint John, it's American I think.

It was so beautiful! The service was in both English and Turkish. The hymns were so wonderful, reminded me of the Evangelical services I used to attend in my school long time ago. The priest was a Canadian one, it was this kind of missionary churches found everywhere. I enjoyed the service so much, and because it was in English I could really participate in praying.

Then after church, they did this gathering for breakfast that's found in most churches, and especially in USA where I've used to join such gatherings. So it was a good chance to get to know new people in Izmir, and there were lots of English tongues of course. The total attendants were over 40 person, varying from Turkish to Americans to Canadians to British, even an Iranian woman, who had "escaped" from Iran and married the British guy who I've come to know later. He was responsible for the prayer books and he always handed me the Turkish books first, then I'd ask for English ones insteadJ. Everyone there thought am Turkish by the way.

And on the first time I've been there, I got to know my dear Karen, an American old teacher who has been living in Izmir for 18 years now. She was round 70, and she looked so much younger. She came to Izmir years earlier, to work as a teacher in a school there, and after she retired, she found out that she fell in love with Izmir, and couldn't leave it and go back to USA.

"I have a life now in Izmir; I have my friends and service at church. I don't want to go back to USA now and leave all this", those were Karen's words to me. She was this kind of woman that sweeps you off your feet with her tremendous kindness and welcoming. She made friends with me so quickly and easily and started introducing me to everyone and the priest. Then she told me about the third church that I got to go in Izmir!

She told me that every Sunday after the Evangelical church service is over, and the little breakfast gathering is over, she goes to this Turkish church nearby, where she has a service: she did like a Sunday school for the Turkish young kids.

And she invited me to go with her.
Okay, to know the risk I took here, imagine with me:
It's the first time ever for me in this church, it's the first time I meet this lady, I do not know all the places in Izmir well, and I found out later that I had no money with me! (because I thought I will just finish church and go back to the hotel, so I didn't remember to take money)

And in spite of all this, here I am, riding the car with Karen and another Turkish lady with us, heading to this church. And am also glad I went J

We arrived to the church to discover it was just the basement and the first floor of a normal house, which was turned into a church, without an altar, without a perfect arrangement, but it was so full of love and God's presence.

First there were some spiritual songs in Turkish, with music and the wordings on the wall with a video projector, so I was able to follow. They were amazing! I couldn't believe how much I enjoyed the songs, even though I couldn't understand everything. But the words were clear, part Arabic part English, so I could get an idea of what the song said. To get an idea, the Holy Spirit was "Kutsal Ruh" J so it was clear, u know.

Then in the break, Karen told me how those Turkish people (over 50 – 60 person, the biggest number as u see) they took the Christian faith, and they started this church with donations, and they were facing lots of problems to oblige them to quit Christianity, and they gave them a hard time to give them a permission to build a church, that's why they are using this basement! (Sounds familiar to somewhere else, doesn't it?)

But the truth is, of all the 3 churches, this was the holiest, the most filled with God's presence, and the prayers were so real and heartily. Those people haven't been brought up in faith, so they appreciate it so much. They know they've been blessed and they carry this bless in their eyes and smiles. They welcomed me like they know me from years, because they knew am a Coptic Christian, and because they are so welcoming and loving. After the break they celebrated having a new member in their church: a young, cute little baby, the daughter of a couple in the church. Everyone was so happy with the newly born, and we all prayed for her & her family.

Then I had to leave, and Karen was to start her service, that's when I found out I had no money J and I do not know where we are, since we came by her car. But because I had enjoyed the morning so much, and I've prayed in 3 different churches and took their bless, I knew certainly I don't have to worry about how I'll go home. Luckily I had my mobile, so I just called one of my colleagues in the hotel, told him to wait for me at the hotel door with money, because I'll be coming in a taxi and I don't have any money... and he did. (Did anyone get worried about how I went back? :) )

For the next few weeks, I used to go to the first 2 churches, I skipped the Turkish one because of the distance, but I'll never forget that day when I went to all 3, and I've experienced things and met people that I'll never forget in my whole life..

Note: in Izmir there was also a very famous historical church called the "Ploycarpa", but I didn't have the chance to visit it. Maybe next time :)

And for those who don't know, Izmir is the city in the bible called "Smirna", one of the 7 churches in the Revelation book.

Are you strong?

2007-06-02T10:17:00.000+03:00

Well, you must have thought about it before, haven't you? Where is your strength? How do you call yourself strong?

First put your parameters of strength. Yes it can differ from one person to another. Your idea and parameter of strength is purely your own. You might think that your strength comes from what you own, from your ability to accomplish, your physical abilities, psychological traits, faith…etc.

We can never list here all the things that make us (or make us think we are) strong. So you must define your own terms of strength.

You can also bear an instantaneous strength or long term strength. Both are needed and both are kinds of strength. You could be under preparation all your life to be strong in a one moment that needs strength of a lifetime. And also you could be working all your lifetime with the same strength that is needed for your normal everyday life. Actually both kinds help each other. What preparation could be better than going through small, short & hard situations and learning bit by bit how to be really strong? And when the big moment comes you already have a good supply of patiently built up strength.

Why do we need to be strong? I leave this question to you my dear reader, and while thinking it over, remember the last time you couldn't sleep at night…

Back again

2007-06-02T10:14:00.000+03:00

My very dear Corner,

I'm back again.

I cannot explain the serenity I feel now coming back to you. The happiness and peace that crawl to me when I sit writing, knowing my words are addressed to you.

I missed you. I really did. I know I left you alone for a long time, but I was longing to have our special moment back together again. But being too busy to do any thing besides work, made me leave you all this time without anything new.

So now, after things began to calm down – hopefully – the first thing I thought of is coming back to you, telling you how I spent the past few months.

First you must know that I went through a lot lately. Many major events, good and bad, happy and worrying, I experienced all sorts of feelings and conditions.

But the biggest and most important was the 1 year project I've just finished.

There are 3 dates I cannot forget in this year:

Wednesday, May 31st 2006, when I first heard of it all in the interview: the traveling, the new position, and I still remember the innocent excitement I felt about the whole idea, not knowing still what lies under.

Thursday, February 15th 2007, at exactly 5:30 pm: there is no title for this event, but for me it was the night of Success. It was the first time to feel successful and triumphant after long months of hard work and traveling. It was the night I was congratulated. I never needed congratulations as I did that night, and oh I did get it. Can't tell you how strong I went home that night. Yes you know how hard and honest you worked, but still the words of appraise makes a difference.

Tuesday, April 10th 2007, our day came to reality. The date that has been a dream to all of us, became "Today". It was our Go-Live day. The time when you see the dreams and drawings come true. Not that everything was magically working, but that we were able to reach that point. Problems will never disappear, but knowing you can do it, makes you even more accomplishing. It's a day by day effort, step by step success. It will always be one of the landmarks in my career.

Dear Corner, I learnt a lot in this time. On all levels: professional, personal and human relations levels.
I learnt that no effort goes in vain. And no laziness brings you anywhere.
I learnt that how low people might go; never let them drag you down with them.

I learnt to make this total separation between work and life. The moment you step out of the office (if you ever do!) just forget work and forget the fights you had with your work mates, just go and enjoy dinner with them.

I learnt that it's most important to have your own identity in whatever you do. Put your mark, never be shy to make it clear and say it out loud. Life went into the direction of those who led it to, not those who just went with the stream.

I learnt that no matter how much you dislike a person, spending long times with him and experiencing all kinds of situations together, will definitely bring you closer and you'll begin to like him. A connection starts to grow between you which will go stronger everyday and will make you forget why you disliked him.

This project exhausted me physically, emotionally and intellectually, but in the end I feel it was worth it. I learnt a lot, got some experience that normally I will never get in just one year…

So I'm trying to settle down again, make a new routine for my life now. And what will never change is the time I spend writing on your walls, my dear corner.

Difference..

2007-01-27T16:01:00.000+02:00

If you are eating so quickly, looking into your wrist watch every 2 minutes, drinking your coffee while it's still hot and making it cooler by adding cold water, to run afterwards quickly down the stairs to catch your ride: this is a business breakfast.

If you are dinning in a fancy restaurant, with an exquisite menu, paying to much attention to the choices more than you pay to your companions, then finishing your meal thinking about sleeping early to wake up early: this is a business dinner.

If you are shopping for everything because you are staying in a hotel, and looking for a teethbrush because you forgot yours at home: this is business shopping.

But, if you are sitting relaxed with your firends, enjoying the dinner and the conversation, trying to eat Sushi for the first time and laughing about it, talking about personal matters freely, hating the quick passing of time because you don't want to leave, feeling so happy and knowing that you will remember this moment forever: this is a real dinner with real friends ;)

Thank you Mine & Hussein ;)

Happy new year ;)

2007-01-01T01:25:00.000+02:00

I sat at my computer determined to write something on the first day of 2007, with no idea on my mind, no specific message to send. Still I need to write, so I'll write down what ever comes across my mind.

During those days of Christmas & the new year, so many things happen, and events take place. Rush at work to finish things before the end of year, parties, the shivering cold weather of December, fears and hopes for the new year.

I just want to say: I have hope. I still have hope for the better to come. I still see it white, with pink stripes. I still have time to do things that will make me remembered, after I'm gone away from this life.

Still have time to accept me more. But no time to repent. No time to spend backwards, tearing myself with things that can never come along again to fix. Mistakes are there to be done, and to learn from.

And the lesson of the year would be: no body can see what you see with your eyes. If you see it like this, don't ask people to understand it the way you do. It's your life, and no one can set the rules for you how to live it. Enjoy it, don't ruin it by trying to follow their rules. In the end it's yours to take control of.

Limits for what's right & wrong is deep inside you, not in their words. If it were to be one rule to fit us all, we'd better all have the same eye color. Sometimes it's easier to follow rules, so as to have something to blame when we lose. Too difficult to look to yourself in the mirror, and tell it in the eyes: "You did a mistake".

And again we say it, till the deaf hear it, and the blind see it, be honest, follow your heart, for it will never fail you. Once your compass is adjusted, follow it with no worry.

Happy new year, new start, new hopes.
Stay well, be happy :)

Babel

2006-12-28T23:33:00.000+02:00

During my stay in Izmir, one of the easy and fun outings for me is the cinema. Very close to my hotel, the movies are in English (no doublage) and all the latest movies are showing.

This time i saw 3 movies: The Guardian - Kevin Costner, Casino Royal - the new blond James Bond: Daniel Craig , and finally Babel.

First we thought it's a Brad Pitt's movie, but it turned out he was just one of many actors who starred in this movie. Babel is what u can really call: international movie.

It's been fun watching this movie, not that it is a "fun" movie, on the contrary it is a gloomy & depressing movie. But the idea is new, the locations are so variant, and the different stories from all around the world, come together so neatly and impressively.

For those who didn't watch it, i will not ruin it for u, for it is a movie to see, not to hear its story.
What was most touching about Babel, is how deep it went into human nature. The characters were not well dressed, no make up, no glamour, just plain faces, real expressions, and real-life situations. The dialogue in the movie was so little. Many scenes had no dialogue at all. It was left to the actors expressions to tell you the story. The story goes so deep into the human race, and explores its very basic needs and fears, that near the end, u discover that people from Morroco, Japan, USA and Spain are all the same in the end; they are human. The human nature doesn't change whether it lives a rough or luxurious living, a life full of technology or a very crude life where they look at any machine as someting from outer space. Man or woman, child or adult, the needs are the same: to love & be loved, to feel secure, to have peace ...

The word "Babel" doesn't come in vain. It reminds us of the Tower of Babel bible story, in Genesis chapter 11, (english) when all people agreed on building a very high tower in the old city of Babel, just after the flood was over in Noah's age. And because God promised them that He will never bring a flood again, he was disappointed by the people's reaction and building that tower, not trusting his promise. So to stop their plans to build the tower, he babled their tongues: every group of people spoke a different language. They couldn't communicate, the cooperation was so difficult to build the tower. They began having misunderstandings, they began to fight together, and they started to suspect one another.

That's how people began being different, but only in tongue, and communication habits. Yet they stayed the same, same human nature.

The movie shows how this babling still affects our lives harshly. Though being the same, though being the same human that we are, we cannot reach out to any one unless we have a common tongue. Not just by language, but language is just one way of communication, but also in the ways we affect & get affected by each other. We do not touch others in the way they'd like to be touched. We might be loving our loved ones in a way the cannot understand or need. Babling can ruin any communication and cause problems. And still they funny fact is: we are the same.

The movie goes on to show in its gloomy mood, how this babling is making us drift apart form each other, a husband abandons his wife afetr their son's death because they couldn't mourn him in a common language. A spanish woman gets accused of kidnapping the 2 kids she adores and escaping with them, because she wasn't understood, and her simple wishes were not undestood.
A mute girl brings herself to trouble because she is not understood by her own father.

Heart breaking scenes, to make us realize how we tear ourselves and others by not communicating. And to make it sharp clear, the movie takes place in 4 different countries, 5 languages, and so many characters. All characters interact, with no intention to cause pain to others, and still they do.

Finally you go out of the movie theatre, with wet eyes, depressed mind, with anger inside you against all the mischievments inside the movie, but please do not miss the important message here: hang on to your loved ones, speak to them , reach out to them and communicate with them in the language they can understand and respond to. Don't make pre-judgements. Don't neglect others when you don't understand them. They have important things to say. Hear them. You can even prevent problems from happening if you give them some attention.

Babel is a must see movie. Pull all your senses together and go watch it, don't forget to grab a packet of handkerchief with you ;)

Happy New Year

2006-12-27T16:34:00.000+02:00

My greatest achievment up till now, is that i can still smile childishly when someone gives me a rose..

longing to belong

2006-11-15T22:38:00.000+02:00

Words

2006-11-11T22:36:00.000+02:00

What are words? Sounds we say to tell things. Are they just sounds? No. they are not just sounds. Before you speak, first you have to say something, an idea I mean, and you want to express the idea in words. It is maybe because you want something, or ask something, or want to give information about something. What makes you want to do this? It is a feeling or urge you have. So, if you do not have that feeling, you will not have an idea, and will not think of conveying this idea. SO, you will not speak. Yes. That's the bottom of it, if you don't feel, you will not speak. Words are feelings. Words are our channel to let out of our emotions and feelings. A word is not just a sound, it is emotional energy. Every word is a project. You first have an idea, then think of realizing it, then start making it real and finally say it. So the quiet people don't have feelings? No I don't think so. They are usually more sensitive than others. The thing is their feelings are much stronger than others, so turning them into words is usually hard, and might be not understandable to others. They work on a higher level of feelings. As always said, empty boxes produce higher noise when banged. Not every word you hear is correct or sincere. Not every word has been planned for and carrying an idea. And maybe the words left unsaid carry stronger ideas and feelings.

the panda in izmir

2006-11-04T22:03:00.000+02:00

عشان بس محدش يقول ماحصلش

2006-10-26T22:53:00.000+02:00

معنديش حاجة أقولها

ولا عايزة أناقش ليه ومين وازاى

أنا بس عايزة انشر الموضوع أكتر

عشان مفيش أى خبر فى أى وسيلة اعلام "وطنى" من بتوعنا

لأ حصل

وحصل كتير

سألت النهاردة ظابط شرطة نعرفه عائلياً عن الموضوع، قاللى مفيش أى حاجة حصلت

مقدرتش أسأله اذا كان بيكدب ولا فعلاً ميعرفش

لأ حصل
وحصل كتير

ومفيش طريقة غير البلوجز عشان نعرف بيها

اللى لسه ماقراش يقرا

أسهل مكان عند منال وعلاء

فى لينكس عندهم لكل اللى اتكتب

أقروووووا

وفى الآخر حد بس يقوللى: هل فعلاً أبويا عنده حق لما يقوللى متنزليش لوحدك بالليل

أصل خلاص

مبقاش فى حد لأى حاجة ممكن تحصل

-------

واحد تانى أعرفه أبوه فى الشرطة برضو، مصمم انه دوا أخدوه كلهم مع بعض أو اتحطلهم فى أكل أو شرب

معنديش خلق عشان افند صعوبة حدوث ده

بس مش عارفة ليه حاسة ان كل ده مش غريب يحصل من غير دوا ولا زفت

المهم اقروا واحكموا

--------

more links:

http://www.khayalworld.com/viewtopic.php?p=20473#20473

http://www.speaksfreely.net/node/75

http://malek-x.net/node/268

كل عام وأنتم بخير

2006-10-26T01:08:00.000+02:00

و ما يحلاش العيد طبعاً من غير شوية هيافة
بس المرة دى مش على روتانا، لكن على التلفزيون المصرى العريق
السنادى بقى قرروا ان لازم نخرج من القوالب الثابتة والفقرات النمطية فى العيد، بدون فقد خط الهيافة الأساسى و مع الاحتفاظ بمضمون الهبوط
وكانت المفاجأة، المفاجأة الكبرى
وبعد طول الانتظار
جابوا المادة الخام نفسها
جابوا "هايفة"... هو الفن العربى جاب إلا هايفة يا خواتى
يا روحى يا روحى يا روحى يا روحى

هايفة (أنا قاصدة أكتبها كدة) بشحمها ولحمها فى القناة الأولى
يا خواتى
الشعب المصرى المتقندل يتهيألى مالوش حجه بعد كدة عشان ينبسط
جابوله هايفه تانى يوم العيد
أوصف ايه بس ولا ايه

ابتدى بلبسه اللى كان عبارة عن حاجة كدة من فوق، ما بين قميص نوم وبيبى دول، فكرنى بمشهد من فيلم تايتانيك لما

الأم كانت عمالة تقطع فى نفس روز بالكورساج وتشد، وتشد عشان خصرها يبقى نحيل كدة ولا الغزال، وتقولها انها لازم تتجوز الجدع اللى مش طايقاه ده، اظاهر المشهد ده أثر قوى فى اللبيس بتاع الفنانة هايفه فقرر يلبسها زي روز، ونسى انه كان ملابس داخلية! ما علينا
وعلى الحاجة دى كانت لابسة بنطلون بيجامة أخوها الصغير وشاحطاه لغاية كتافها
يا خواتى عالشياكة

المذيع النحنوح والمذيعة المسهوكة ابتدوا يسألوا أسئلتهم الفتاكة بقى وهايفة بتجاوب كأنها بتدلى ببيان هام فى الأمم

المتحدة
شوية وسألوها عن المجوهرات اللى لبساها وهل من تصميمها ولا لأ (قال ايه عاملة كولكشن مجوهرات من تصميمها) فبدأت يا روحى تعرض علينا كل المجوهرات اللى لابساها حتة حتة وتقول ايه من تصميمها وايه هديه، وجت على الخاتم الألماظ الضخم وقالت انه هدية من واحد "عزيز" عليها قوى ولابساه مخصوص فى البرنامج عشان عيون الننوس
واحنا برضو نفرحلك يا حبيبتى يوم ماتلاقى ابن الحلال اللى يستاهلك

شوية وطلبوا منها تغنى اغنية للشحرورة! ناقصة هيا... المهم غنت بصوتها المغرد أغنية "عالبساطة"، وبعد كدة غلطت غلطة عمرها الفنى وغنت رائعة فيروز "بكتب اسمك" بصونها الحنين، وأشكر الظروف اللى خلتها تغنى مقطع واحد بس... الحمد لله رب العالمين
شوية كدة مركزتش فى الكلام، ولما رجعت أركز، لقيتهم بيقولوا ان أوبرا وينفرى مرشحة لجايزة نوبل للسلام (صحيح ده؟) عن جهودها ضد الايدز باين فى أفريقيا وكل الأنشطة الانسانية اللى بتعملها، وانها قال ايه اختارت هايفه عشان تقدمها فى الحفلة اللى تستلم فيها الجايزة

ستوب بقى
أوبرا وينفرى وعارفين انها فعلاً ليها أنشطة زى كدة وست آخر مجدعة
ايش جاب بقى هايفه للعمل الخيرى؟ دى حتى معملتش اعلان من بتوع مستشفى السرطان للأطفال، حد بس يقوللى ايه أنشطة الآنسة الخيرية؟

بصوا أنا اعتراضى على هايفه مش لسبب غير انها مختصرة نفسها فى كونها جسد جميل بس
هى فعلاً جميلة، جميلة وذكية، بس كمان كام سنة، الجمال ده حيروح، ومحدش حيتقبل دلعها ده

وبكدة بيقى العيد فرحة، وأجمل فرحة
والشعب المكبوت شاف حتة حلوة عالعيد، حتى لو طلع بعديها بهدل فى بنات الناس فى الشارع
كل عام وأنتم بخير

لما لا؟

2006-10-10T00:27:00.000+02:00

الانسان، ذلك المخلوق الرائع

يذهلنا يومياً ويفاجئنا حينما نظن أنه لا مزيد من المفاجآت

عجيب، لا تجد اثنين متشابهين

دائم التغيير

لكن فى النهاية هو نتاج تأثير ما

دائماً يبحث عن منبع يستقى منه

يتأثر به ويؤثر فيه

ثم حسب طبيعته تظهر النتيجة

هناك من ينجرف بشدة فى اتجاه ما تأثر به، وهناك من يتعمد العناد والتغيير

نحتاج لهما هما الاثنين، نحتاجهما حتى تتوازن القوى

ولكن، ماذا يحدث لنفس الطبيعة اذا ما تعرضت لتأثيرين مختلفين فى أزمنة مختلفة؟

ترى هل ينتهى بهذه الشخصية المطاف لنفس المصير؟

أم يختلف تماماً، كأنهما فى حيوة مختلفة؟

هل هناك خطة أم هى تجارب؟ هل هى صدفة أن نحيا كما نحيا، أم هو مصير واحد مهما اختلفت طرقه؟

هل لو كنا نحيا حياة مختلفة، لكنا أصبحنا بشراً آخرين سوانا؟

لما لا

لكن كيف لنا أن نعرف، حين أنها حياة واحدة لنا فيها فرصة؟

كيف لنا أن نثق بما عقلنا وفهمنا وأقتنعنا به؟ كيف لنا أن نقف على ربوة وننادى بما نصدق؟

هل هو طريق؟ أم متاهة طرق ألقينا فى أحد فروعها مصادفة؟

لما لا

لكن فى النهاية نرى طريق واحد، ذو عدة طرق فرعية

لا نعلم كثيراً عن المتاهة

نخشاها فى حين أننا لا نعرفها

ولكن هناك من سيظل تراوده أحلام الخروج اليها

ولما لا

ولكن المتاهة قاسية

أعلم ذلك

أخشى حتى ان أسترق نظرة الى الممرات المتشابكة

أخشى ان أتوه فيها، فلا أستطيع العودة لطريقى

يا لهذا الانسان العجيب، يريد المعرفة والأمان... وكل شئ

هل يستطيع؟

لما لا

Breaking news: Dr. Sameh passed away today

2006-10-08T23:45:00.000+02:00

Today, we lost a special person from church, Dr. Sameh George.
Like all special people, he didn't last long on our mortal earth.
He went to a better place, where he can enjoy the peace and love near God.
All what we need to think of and pray for, is his 2 young, wonderful special kids: Raef and Grace.
God meant for them a different life, to make them even more special.
May God protect and guide them, and give them peace.
I was thinking now: can the church tomorrow hold all the people whom Dr. Sameh has affected their lives? I doubt, it will be over full...

God rest his soul.

feel

2006-10-07T22:45:00.000+02:00

.. and when i looked at you, you were laughing. You were among the crowd, maneuvering everyone and keeping the smile glowing. No one could suspect it, no one could say it and be believed, but i felt it. I felt it sharp and loud inside of me, that it shook me and made me stop at it. Inspite of all the crowd, of all the noise, of all the people...
..
you were lonely..
..

yes, i felt it deep inside me, and you never said a word. You never made a distant remark of it.. but through your eyes i could still see it, and in my heart feel it. What is going on in there, inside your mind, could never know. You do a good job in keeping it unseen. The only thing i saw was, your are alone among millions.

why do i feel the unspoken..? and see the hidden..?
maybe because i am like you..
and in the crowd, i saw only you, not the crowd..

كمان

2006-10-03T23:53:00.000+02:00

علي بعد مليون ميل من أرضنا
من الفراغ الكوني بصيت أنا
لا شفت فرق بين جبال و بحور
و لا شفت فرق ما بين عذاب أو هنا
!!عجبي

عايز تانى؟

لسه هو الملك

2006-10-03T23:40:00.000+02:00

يا باب يا مقفول ... إمتي الدخول
صبرت ياما و اللي يصبر ينول
دقيت سنين ... و الرد يرجع لي : مين ؟
لو كنت عارف مين أنا كنت أقول
!!عجبي
*****

سهير ليالي و ياما لفيت و طفت
و ف ليله راجع في الضلام قمت شفت
الخوف ... كأنه كلب سد الطريق
و كنت عاوز أقتله .. بس خفت
!!عجبي

*****
عجبتني كلمة من كلام الورق
النور شرق من بين حروفها و برق
حبيت أشيلها ف قلبي .. قالت حرام
ده أنا كل قلب دخلت فيه اتحرق
!!عجبي
*****

ورا كل شباك ألف عين مفتوحين
و انا وانتي ماشيين يا غرامي الحزين
لو التصقنا نموت بضربة حجر
و لو افترقنا نموت متحسرين
!!عجبي

*****

انا كل يوم أسمع ........ فلان عذبوه
أسرح في بغداد و الجزاير واتوه
ما أعجبش م اللي يطيق بجسمه العذاب
و اعجب من اللي يطيق يعذب أخوه
!!عجبي

**********

Izmir, my love - 2 (pics)

2006-10-03T12:32:00.000+02:00

My friend Dosst (the dog) which i got to know in the boat in Izmir. His owners who are in the picture, are so frindly and so kind. Dosst made my day when i was down that day, and i went home as happy as i would be after playing with Kooki :))

The ship that i used to ride from one side of Izmir to the other.

My hotel view @ sunset, great view. Never got bored of it!

---------------------------------------------

i just knew now that there was a bomb explosion in Izmir, in one of the cafes! i don't know where exactly in Izmir the explosion happened, but i really feel sad that humans are always ruining the beauty everywhere... as though more blood and destruction is what the world needs now...!

Izmir, my love - 1

2006-10-01T23:11:00.000+02:00

Cairo airport, June 18th 2006:
"Now, i am sitting at the airport now, outside the gate that we will pass through. Gate 7.I can really admit that i do not like the traveling process: including the trip to airport, crossing gates and passing by officers, and then sitting alone, wishing the flight takes off soon. I always thought that the idea of traveling is good, but when i actually come to apply it, i do find it that appealing. I remember now all the times i traveled before and i come to realize "i'm not the traveling type!" Anyway, here i am waiting for the flight, & for my colleagues to arrive. I'm wondering: how this trip will affect my relationship with them? Will we bond more and become life long friends, or are we just going t spend some days together and that's it?Let's wait & see."
I wrote this in the airport on the first trip, it was 3:00am and i was really aprehensive to what will come up.
---------------------
Izmir, July 2006:
Izmir. the typical Mediterranean city, with the sea view and the big ships going back and forth its coast, where i spent many wonderful days.Izmir reminds me so much of Alexandria, mainly because of the atmosphere that you find in the Kordon area, very similar to Alexandria Corniche. Lots of cafes and restaurants along side the Kordon. People selling grilled corn and teen shoky to the couples sitting in peace. Beggers even look like Egyptian ones. Kids playing in the garden near the Kordon while their mothers are sitting gossiping. Amateur fishermen trying to catch a few fish from the polluted sea, but enjoying the fishing more than the fish itself. Yes Izmir is so live and joyful. You can sit in any cafe or restaurant and find the service very welcoming. All kinds of food and deserts are found there. If you prefer brands names you can also find International and famous restaurants.
---------------------
Window shopping is as fun as in Egypt. But for night dresses and wedding gowns it was always on the 1st floor of buildings and not in the street level. I was always wondering how to get there, but never had the chance to visit one of those atheliers.
---------------------
As i walk in the Kordon, heading for the boat station, i look at all the people sitting there and thinking about the major cultural contradictions found in Turkey, specially in Izmir. Turkey has been always the link between many cultures, and has an extraordinary mix of people and their origins. It lies in the middle of European, Eastern, Russian and Arabian cultures, and hence, people. It is fighting to maintain a character in the mid of this mixture. So as i walk i find girls dressed in the European style, dying their hair blond and showing an intimate relation with their boyfriends. Next to them you will find an Eastern type veiled girl, with her husband and children. The 2 pictures seem very contradicting but the are found next to each other in Izmir.
---------------------
While getting on the boat i take a glimpse at the people getting on board with me. Some of them look like they are going home from work, others like they are just taking a public transportation to go to the other side of Izmir to do shopping or do some errands. Very few seem to ride the boat for fun as i do. They got used to using this boat as a transportation means that they seem to forget how enjoying it is. Then comes the waiter with the traditional Turkish tea. They call it Chay. I didn't like its taste for it's too bitter for me. It has the same Egyptian tea flavor but with this bitterness. I pass the tea invitation with a smile and say "Tesekkurler", meaning thanks a lot. After 20 minutes we reach "Karsheyaka", the neihbourhood on the opposite side of Izmir. The side i was staying in was "Alsancak", pronounced Alsanjack.
---------------------
Though all what was said to me about being careful and not stay late out of the hotel, i find the hotel area quite safe. Being the central place in Izmir for "trans-sexuals", they always tell me there is nothing i should fear :) and my colleagues (males) are the ones who should be worried :D i guess it's fair that men should experience being afraid on the street once ;)
Anyway, i used to take rounds, walking in the kordon and the narrow streets of Alsancak, and stay late without being worried. Anyway, the kordon restaurants, cafes and bars stay open till after midnight, during the whole week. I don't like staying alone in the hotel room so i usually exhaust myself walking before going to the hotel, so as to fall asleep once i arrive there.
---------------------
August - September 2006:
The Turkish cuisine:
The Turkish cuisine is very delicious, like Egyptian and Lebanese food. Turkish food is floating on olive oil (as all medierranean sea cities) and Yogurt!! yes, all dishes, all courses are served with yogurt. Dairy products in general are consumed heavily by Turkish people. And they should actually :) they have the best dairy products i have ever tasted... all kinds of cheese are delicious, specially goat cheese. Yogurt also is very tasty there, and also the most famous drink, Ayran, whic is more or less like el laban el rayeb in Egypt, a little salty. Very famous with Doner (el shawerma).. Oh i just loved everything there, the doner, kebab, pastry, cheese... everything!! I guess now there are no questions about why i gained weight this summer :D
---------------------
The sea:
I have a long time love story with the sea. In my life i saw lots of seas, lakes and rivers, in Egypt, USA and Turkey. But still the mediterranean sea is my love. So what else can i ask for other than having a sea view room on my beloved? The sea has always fascinated me, and gave me the feeling of mystery and adventure. Water, it's just water, but the power and danger that lies within is overwhelming. Some wind only can cause this power to emerge, and show its strength and what it can do when it goes mad. I loved the boat trips in the Egean sea (part of the medierranean) and enjoyed the water splashes on my face. Everytime the boat arrives to its destination, i wish i can stay more and not leave. I always wanted a job that has to do with the sea, and i actually applied for jobs in hotels and resorts in Hurghada & Sharm el Shiekh, but never did a single interview there :) So i was happy to stay in Izmir by the sea, and as i mentioned, it reminds me so much of Alexandria. I love Alexandria in Winter, so i am anxious to sea how does Izmir look in Winter. My next trip (4th trip - end of October) will be in Winter, let's wait and see.

to be continued..

آهه

2006-10-01T23:01:00.000+02:00

قالولى افرحى

قلت لسه الفرحة مدخلتش قلبى

قالولى ليه بتفكرى

قلت معنديش اللى ياخد عقلى

قالولى الدمع كتر

قلت الدمع بيجيله يوم ويجف

والألم يخف

مفيش حاجة مبتعديش

والفرح أوالحزن دايماً يلف

لماذا

2006-09-28T01:05:00.000+02:00

قل لى لو تعلم

قل لى لماذا لا أراها فى عينيك؟

قل لى لماذا إذا نظرت فى عينيك لم أجد تلك اللمعة

لماذا لا أشعر بالقشعريرة إذ أقترب منك

لماذا لا أحلم بالقصور والنسيم والجمال معك

هل توقفت عن امتلاك اللمعة فى عينيى أنا

هل لا ترى حلمك فى أيضاً؟

خطوة تأخذها تجاهى، أفر أنا بخطوات فى الاتجاه المعاكس

ثم أنظر ورائى، أبحث عن المكان الذى توقفت عنده

أراك بعيدأ

آخذ دقائق مفكرة هل أقبل عليك أم أتسمر مكانى

لكننى أتذكر عينيك اللتين لا تلمعان

و القتراب الذى لا أحس به

أتسمر

أجلس مكانى، متمنية أن تأتى تجاهى

ولكننى أراك تمشى مبتعداً

لا أنهض، ولا أنادى

أراك ترحل دون كلمة

ترى هل كان واجبى أن اقول أنا تلك الكلمة؟

لا أعلم

ليتك تعلم فتقول لى

لكنك بعيداً الآن

بعيداً جداً

و أنا لا أعلم لماذا

-------------

(من محض الخيال)

over a year had passed

2006-09-28T00:45:00.000+02:00

it's been over a year now since i started my blog..
but not my writings.. i've been writing for over than 12 years now..
but the blog gave my writings new dimensions
now i know that someone, somewhere will read some of what i write

all the copybooks i have are full of writings, since high school
but when i sometimes search for a piece to post, i find it difficult
it is either too personal, or too un-understandable to others
this is not just ink on paper to me
it is parts of my soul
scenes of my life and mind
sometimes i feel like keeping it to myself
and other times i like sharing it with everyone
but in the end, i love the time when i hold my pencil
or sit in front in my PC, to create new dreams, take new shots
put wise words in frames and hang them on the wall

Happy Anniversary my blog
may you keep growing, and giving me the pleasure of drawing humble dreams on your pages...

from within

2006-09-28T00:15:00.000+02:00

the whole world lies within yourself
the rules, the boundaries and the fears, all comes from your inside
don't think that life controls you, no circumstances guide your path
it is your own self that controls your acts
and do tricks to you, to make you believe that there are outer forces manipulating your actions
don't feel sorry for yourself and say life is not doing you good
look within you for the reasons that made you mess it up
the first step to failure is starting to blame others and the circumstances
the minute you start doing so, is when you should fear for yourself
start now
look in the mirror
stare into yourself with wide eyes open
think
decide
smile to yourself
congratulate yourself that you still have the guts to look it in the eye
stop it now
stop throwing it on the outside
cause it all comes from within

except yourself..

2006-09-24T20:57:00.000+02:00

You can lie
lie to the whole world
they might believe you
they might think you are saying what you are thinking
they might clap and call your name in enthusiasm
yes you can lie to them
but in the end
when you go home and take off your clothes
you can never lie then
you can never lie to yourself!
except yourself...

نقول كمان

2006-09-24T20:00:00.000+02:00

وانت ماشى فى السكة

خد بالك كويس

اوعى تمشى مغمض عينيك

اوعى تنسى تبص على الفراشات حواليك

ميفوتكش منظر نجوم السما بالليل

وانت ماشى تتكسر تحت رجليك مليون قشة وقشة

وتدوس على ورق شجر كان فى يوم فوق غصونه

ماشى فى طريق مشى فيه كتير قبلك

لكن محدش فيه بنفس رتم خطوتك

ابتسم لما نقطة مطر تنزل على جبينك

ولما شعاع الشمس ييجى فى عينك

املا صدرك من الهوا

وقدر انك لسه تقدر تحس، تضحك وتتنفس

ولو بالصدفة خبطت فى غصن شجرة

والخبطة جت فى جرح قديم

سيبه ينزف

ما هو فى جروح عمرها مابتتقفل

فى جروح تفضل توجع

وتسيب مكانها ندبة واضحة

وايه يعنى

سيبه ينزف

حينزف شوية

وبعدين يقف

وتمسحه بمنديلك

وتكمل مشوارك

وسط الشجر والفراشات والشمس

اوعى تتردد وتخلى خطوتك تبطأ

مين حيكمل المشوار غيرك

مين حيضحك ويبكى ويغنى للدنيا غيرك

بس اوعى فى يوم تقفل ودانك

أو عينيك

أو قلبك

أوعى فى يوم تفتكر ان الصوت الحلو اللى جواك ده

مفروض يخرس

سيبه يغنى وسيب عينيك تغمض من حلاوته

سيبه ينطق و يصحيك

وان كان على الجرح

حتتعود عليه

وحيبقى جزء منك

من روحك وقلبك

وانت ماشى فى السكة
خد بالك كويس

خد بالك لحسن كل يوم ماتخدش بالك فيه

حته من روحك بتتسرق منك

أخيراً لقيت حاجة تستاهل

2006-08-24T10:05:00.000+03:00

أخيراً وبعد انتظار دام أسابيع، كنت بدور على حاجة تستاهل أكتب عنها، وأخيراً لقيتها، حاجة مهمة وحيوية وتؤثر على حياة كل واجد فينا يا سادة يا أفاضل، امبارح فتحت التليفزيون على غير العادة، قلت أدور على أى حاجة أشوفها بدل مانا قاعدة لوحدى، ووقع حظى العاثر على قناة روتانا موسيقى، لقيت المذيعة والضيفة شكلهم زى بعض بالظبط!! قلت أشوف هما عاملين كدة ليه، وعاملين قصة الشعر الغريبة اللى عملتها أمل حجازى مؤخراً، واللى ماشفهاش (مايشوفش وحش) هى قصة غريبة مقطعة وكل خصلة طول شكل، ولونه أصفر مبيض.... المهم ان البنتين كانوا عاملين نفس القصة ونفس الماكياج برضو، المهم شوية واكتشفت ان بنت من الاتنين هى نفسها أمل حجازى (شكلها بيتغير كتير قوى فا مبقدرش أحدد ملامحها) المهم الحوار كان على قصة الشعر نفسها دى وقد ايه أمولة جريئة وشجاعة ومقدامة انها عملت القصة دى، والمذيعة الكتكوتة طلبت من كوافير البرنامج انها تكون شبه أمل بالظبط فى الحلقة دى، عشان كدة كان المنظر الغريب اللى شفته ده

أما بالنسبة للبسهم، فالاتنين كانو لابسين ملابس داخلية تقريباً، ياخواتى عليهم يجننو، يهبلوا هما الاتنين بقصة الشعر دى واللبس الجنان ده.... و الحوار طبعاً كان على نفس المستوى من الأهمية والجدية - بس للأسف مش فاكرة منه حاجة، غير ان أمل مبسوطة كتير كتير عشان دلوقتى البنات بتروح للكوافيرات بتاعهم ويقولولوا "عايزين قصة شعر أمل"، وهى كتير كتير سعيدة بالنجاح ده

المهم بعد كدة البرنامج ابتدى ياخد شكل آخر من الجدية والابداع، جت أهم فقرة، فقرة صعبه وخطيرة، وكان فاضل المذيعة تحذر أصحاب القلوب الضعيفة من مشاهدة الفقرة دى: فقرة التحدى!! تحدى للضيف والمرة دى التحدى لأمل كان صعب ومليان مخاطرة

وبدأ التحدى

طلع على المسرح شاب وسيم، لابس جينز وقميص، أعصابه هادية ومبتسم ابتسامة واثقة، طلع المسرح بخطوات ثابتة، جايب معاه التحدى الأكبر: جايب معاه يا ساده يا أفاضل نسناس!! ايوه نسناس، يعنى البيه قرداتى يعنى! ماشى، ايه بقى التحدى؟ ان أمولة الكتكوتة تمسك النسناس و تطبطب عليه، مش بس كده، لكن التحدى الحقيقى ان النسناس السعيد "يحس بحنانها ليه" على حد تعبير المذيعة الأمورة

وبدأ التحدى الصعب، وفضل المشهد المثير ده حوالى ربع ساعة: القرداتى بيجرى ورا أمل بالنسناس، بيخوفها بيه (عشان يعمل جو اثارة يعنى) والمذيعة بتسرسع وتقولها تعالى تعالى ماتخافيش، وتروح زاقه النسناس عليها... منتهى الاثارة والمتعة، والقرداتى طبعاً مستمتع بالهبل ده، وعمالين هما الأربعة (لو عدينا النسناس معاهم) عمالين يجروا على المسرح... وبعد عدة محاولات أعلنت المذيعة فشل أمولة فى التحدى

عند النقطة دى كنت أنا ابتديت أحس بضيق تنفس من كتر الهبل، فقلبت القناة بسرعة ودورت على حاجة تانية تتشاف بس يكون مستوى الهبل أقل شوية... المهم قعدت أقلب وبعد ربع ساعة كدة رجعت لروتانا تانى، وألاقى الأخت أمل لسه بتهبل هى وأختها المذيعة، بس المرة دى معاهم كلب وولف ضخم على المسرح!! أصلها بقت جنينة حيوانات بقى... والحوار كان كدة

المذيعة: وودتيه فعلاً المدرسة يا أمل – قصدها الكلب
أمل: آه وديته عشان يتهذب ويبقى بولى (polite) ويفهم الكلام اللى أقولهوله
المذيعة: طب ورينا كدة
أمل: (للكلب) وولف سيت سيت (يروح قاعد) وولف داون (يروح الأخ وولف نايم) جود بوى جود بوى

ويستمر مسلسل الهبل معرفش للساعة كام بس أنا مقدرتش أشوف أكتر من كدة، ورحت أدور على قناة فيها أخبار عن الحرب أحسن
الظريف بقى ان البرنامج كله مفهوش كلمة عن أغانى الست أمل دى ولا أعماها الجديدة أو القادمة، يمكن تكون حتسيب الغنا وتشتغل فى السيرك

احفظنا يارب من الصيف وبلاويه واللى بيجرى فيه

بعد غياب شهر عن البلوج، ملقتش حاجه تستفزنى أكتب فيها إلا انى بتأكد يوم بعد يوم ان كل تافه وهايف بقى هو السايد والمهم، طب أنا حارقة دمى ليه فى كلام جد؟ منديها فى الهايف احنا كمان... أنا قررت خلاص أسيب الهندسة والتصنيع والعك ده وأشتغل مذيعة فى روتانا، وأعمل برنامج من على البحر فى مارينا أستضيف فيه النجوم العظام وهما بيصيفوا مع حيواناتهم الأليفة

مغلق إلى أن أجد كلمات ليها لزمة...فى زمن ملهوش لزمة

2006-07-26T21:07:00.000+03:00

إعتراض على اللى بيحصل فى لبنان وفلسطين ومصر و كل حتة ومحدش قادر يعمل حاجة

over qualified أنا

2006-07-13T16:13:00.000+03:00

over qualified الزجل ده كتبه صديق عزيز لسه متخرج هو م/جورج منير، اللى شركة كبيرة رفضته عشان هو

over qualified أنا over qualified أنا
over qualified في زمن بيترفض فيه الإنسان عشان بيفكرأنا
يارتني كنت حمار بديل أو حتي مخطط
ولا أرد بني علي فرع شجرة بيتنطط
أو حتى مسؤل عظيم وأف بيستعبط
بيستعبط سيتو و يؤل حكومتنا أضت علي كل الأمراض
over qualified و لا كنش في يوم

over qualified لو كنت يا عني

أشتريلك ذي مساحة أو فرشة بلاط
و تعالي أنا و أنت نشد السلالم و نسئ الحمامات
ونفرح بالعباطة و نتسلي بالتفاة و ننفخ البلونات
over qualified و ننسي أنا وأنت حوار

و نريح زي التيوس
و ناكل زي الجموس
و ندور أنا و أنت ندور ندور علي الفلوس
و راح ندفن الفات و ننسي الذكريات
over qualified و لا تجيش في يوم تأولي دا أنا

ولو شفنا واحد منهم راح نحدفو بالطماطم
و نقول له أجري يا أهبل يا أبو عأل و ألب اّتم
دا زمن عويل بيلف بيلف كما البساتم
و لو شفنا شعرو شاط
و جلدو طفح أمراض
over qualified حانؤلو يا عم أهدي ما كنا أنا

و ربنا تاب علينا من شغل المفهومية
و غيرنا عقولنا و أمخاخنا بصرمة مية مية
و حياتنا صبحت جنة و العيشة بأت هنية
خدها نصية فصيحة مننا و من الست شلبية

عيش حمار تاخد كل الميزات
over qualified و أوعاك أوعاك في يوم تفكر لا تموت

هى كدة كدة أكبر منك

2006-06-20T23:58:00.000+03:00

طب ما هى الدنيا كده كده أكبر منك، ازاى بس عايز تحصرها كلها عندك؟ دانتا لو اتحركت شوية بره دايرتك الصغيرة وطلعت على أول الدنيا حتلاقى حاجات عمرك ماشوفتها ولا سمعتها، حتلاقى بشر مانتاش فاهمهم، لغات عمرك ماسمعتها وأماكن متعرفش انها موجودة، بلاش بقى تصغر مخك وحياتك وتحاول تمسك شوية هوا فى ايديك وتقول أهو، كله معايا فى ايدى أهو
هى كدة كدة أكبر منك، ازاى عايز تمشيها على رأيك؟ عاوز اللى حواليك يصقفوا ويمشوا على نهجك، طب تيجى ازاى، مانتا واحد من ألوف، ألوان وأشكال مالها عد، كل واحد ليه أحلامه وأوهامة وغلطاته، تيجى انت وتزنقها كلها فى راسك؟ هى حتكفى ايه ولا ايه... وسعها على نفسك وبلاش المخ الناشف، عشان هى كده كده أكبر منك

كان نفسى برضو

2006-06-12T14:44:00.000+03:00

س: طب كان نفسك فى ايه تانى؟

ج: كان نفسى أدخل كلية اقتصاد منزلى، قسم جناين وكافيتيريات

كان نفسى

2006-06-06T18:19:00.000+03:00

س: نفسك فى إيه يا ليلو؟
ج: نفسى أبقى غبية

The best quote i read about praying:

2006-06-04T11:17:00.000+03:00

Today's Quote

"Prayer is not asking for what you think you want, but asking to be changed in ways you can't imagine."

Kathleen Norris

بالرغم من كل ما تعرض له

2006-06-01T13:02:00.000+03:00

"وكانَ الرّبُّ معَ يوسُفَ، فكانَ رجلاً ناجحًا"

تكوين 39: 2

Meetings' inspiration

2006-05-31T12:00:00.000+03:00

Save my soul from drowning
My surroundings are pushing me downwards
Suffocating under the materials
All day long in a closed office, on a cold desk
Everything is artificial, even the air
All my senses have slept
cause all the signals are the same
Piles of paper and files
Bottled water & pop cans
Food is wrapped in hundereds of paper & plastic bags
Nothing is real, nothing's alive
The temperature is always different from outside
A plastic world, an artificial life
I need some air, some hot air
I want to see the sun before it sets
I want to run in a wide open field
full of grass and brooks and trees
I want to touch live creatures
not the cold fibers and metals
I want to scream out and laugh loudly
Not whisper on phones and cellulars
My soul is drowning, help me
Take me to a green garden
Let me touch the wet grass
Take me to the sea shore
Let me fill my slippers with sand
I don't want everything clean and organized
I miss the mess
I miss the sun
I just want to open the office door, and run.

Let go

2006-05-30T23:34:00.000+03:00

While I was searching for an inspiration to write about, I heard it on TV 'Let go':

Let go. A simple sentence.
Let go. It tells you so much in such little words.
It tells you to look forward, to have hope.
Go on with your life and just let go.
Let go of all your fears and sadness.
Let go of the strings that attach you to the past.
You just can't put your hand on the wheel and look back.
Let go and look ahead.
Becasue it all happened in the past, you must let go.
Nothing can be done now.
There is no point in reminding yourself everyday with your faults.
Let go. Do yourself the favor of starting anew, every new day.
Let go and look ahead.
So much will be coming, that you won't have time to look back.
So let go.

Unforgettable scenes

2006-05-30T00:00:00.000+03:00

Scenes i can never forget from my favorite movies...

The movie "Al 3azra2 wal sha3r al abeyad", Nabeela 3ebed wakes up from the surgery to discover she can never be a mother.
The movie "Jerry McGuire" when Tom Cruise goes to Rene Zelweger's house to tell her he loves her.
The movie "Awakenings" when Robert De Niro wakes up from his long lasting paralysis to discover the life he's been missing for 30 years.
The movie "Fight club" when the hero & heroine stand and watch all the big skyscrapers fall down, the last scene of the movie.
The movie "Do3a2 el karawan" when Faten and Ahmad Mazhar were sitting by the river confessing their impossible love to each other.
The movie "Al thalatha yo7eboonaha" when So3ad 7osny was dancing with Hassan Youssef trying to send her fiance away, after her tragedy.
The movie "White" when the hero goes running in the rain till he falls to the ground.
The movie "7abiby da2eman" the final scene when Poussy dies in the arms of Nour el Sherif on the beach.
The movie "Damm el ghazal" when Mona Zaki is thrown out of the house on her wedding night after her husband is prisoned, walking miserably down the street.
The movie "Vanilla sky" when Penelope lifts Tom Cruise up from the ground and takes care of him, giving him a chance to live.
The movie "Phenomenon" when the heroine shaves Travolta's beard in his final days.
The movie "You've got mail" when Tom Hanks tells Meg Ryan right before she meets her internet friend, that he wishes he were him. She leaves without a word.
The movie "Cold Mountain" when Judd gets killed.
The movie "El erhab wel kabab", when Ahmad Rateb explains why he is polishing shoes in el mogama3 in Cairo.
The movie "The age of innocence" when the hero kneels on Michelle Pfifers feet and weeps, despairing their impossible love.

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If u have a favorite movie scene too, plz share it with me..

Couldn't have said it better..

2006-05-29T13:27:00.000+03:00

من الأعماق صرخت إليك

يحدثوننى

2006-05-29T11:38:00.000+03:00

يحدثوننى كثيراً كم أنت حلو وقوى

يحدثوننى بابتسامة عن وقوفك معهم فى كل شدة

أسمع كلماتهم فأصمت، لست أعلم عما يتحدثون

أسمع وأصمت فليس لى حياة معك كما يحكون

~~
يقولون لى آمن حتى تخلص

صدق كل ما نقول

لا أجيب، لا أتكلم

أومئ برأسى كأننى فاهم لكل ما يقولون

لكننى كنت أعلم جيداً، أنى لا أعرفك كما هم يعرفون

حديثهم شيق لكنه لا يعنى لى أى شئ، فقط كلمات بلا جذور

~~
مضيت فى حياتى، أقول الكثير وأسمع أكثر

لكن حديثهم يظل يرن فى عقلى

عندى شوق لكى أكون مثلهم عندى

شوق لكى أتحدث عنك كما يتحدثون

عندى شوق لكى أذوق حلاوتك

عندى شوق لكى أختبر قوتك

متى يا ربى متى، أكون مثلهم عنك يخبرون

~~~~~~~

وجاء يوم، كنت وحدى و كان قلبى مجروح

أكتم جرحاً وفى قلبى سراً به لا أستطيع ان أبوح

لم أجد صديقاً يسمع لى لم أجد كتفاً أتكئ عليه

~~
تذكرتك.. بل بالحقيقة تذكرت كلماتهم

قلت لنفسى لم لا أبحث عنك ربما أجد ملاذا

دخلت مخدعى وحدى

أغلقت بابى

نظرت إلى صورتك المعلقة

وإذ بعيناك تنظر لى من فوق صليب ملطخاً بدماك

رغم كل الألم تنظر لى بكل حنان

كأنما أنت تدعونى لكى أتحدث معك

تكلمت كثيراً كما لم أفعل من قبل

بحت بأسرار لم أطلع عليها بشر قط

ثم انتظرتك حتى تجيبنى

~~~~~~~

فرحٌ، فرحٌ، فرحٌ عظيم

فرحٌ عظيم أحسست به عندما تحدثت إليك من القلب

إحساس غامر لم أحسسه من قبل

إحساس بدفء وحب وطمأنينة قلب

زالت مخاوفى وزاد إيمانى

عرفت أنك لكل مشكلة حل
الآن عرفت عما كانوا يتحدثون

ولماذا عند ذكر اسمك يتهللون

أصبحت معهم أخبر عنك الآخرين

الذين لم يعرفوك بعد كما كنت أنا منذ حين

الآن عرفت عما كانوا يتحدثون

ولماذا عند ذكر اسمك يتهللون

~~~~~~~

Today's Quote

2006-05-28T22:53:00.000+03:00

"If you can dream it,

you can do it."

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Walt Disney

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2006-05-27T22:27:00.000+03:00

Among the crowd... In the noise
Pushed around and shoved in the back...
Laughs and cries are all around... And your ears can't really hear anything
While they can't hear it, a heart speaks the utterly words...
Everyone's busy, no need to hear more noise... And words are lost in the air as many others

Speaking the silent words in time of noisiness... Can anyone hear it out there?
Not the sound,, but the heart that you get it by
Then you hear it and ask yourself if it were true...
To that extent the soul has drowned in reason
Where did your soul's ears go?

عش راجياً

2006-05-24T08:43:00.000+03:00

كمن يذيب ثلوج متراكمة منذ سنوات، بقطرة مطر دافئة، وحيدة

كمن يلون بحيرة صافية، بنقطة دم، رجاء أن يحيلها حمراء اللون

بل كمن يريد ملء جوف ثمرة جوز خاوية بالهواء، لكنه يريد أنقى وأصفى هواء

كمن يستدفئ فى ليلة باردة بدف نور شمعة هادئة، ناسياً زجاج النافذة مفتوح

كمن يتسلق جبل عال، مستنداً على حبل مربوط على وسطه

راجياً أن يصل القمة ظافراً

حينها ينصهر الثلج

وتصير البحيرة حمراء كالدم

ثم تمتلئ ثمرة الجوز بأنقى هواء

هواء ليس من جونا المعتاد

لكنه من على أعلى قمة فى الجبل

حيث لم يلوث الهواء أحد ما

حيث لم يعش هناك مخلوق ، ولم يقم هناك إقامة دائمة

إلا من شد الحبل حول وسطه كل يوم

ومن تشبث فى الصخور بأظافره لئلا يسقط

تلك هى علاقتى بك ربى

أعيش راجياً طوال الأيام

متشبثاً بك رغم الضعفات

آملاً أن أعيش

حتى أرى الثلج ذائباً، يجرى أنهاراً

وحتى أرى البحيرة بلون دمك الذكى

أعيش راجياً

Today's Quote

2006-05-03T10:20:00.000+03:00

The true measure of an individual,

is how he treats a person,

who can do him absolutely no good.

Ann Landers

مثل الابن الضال

2006-05-03T00:28:00.000+03:00

مثل الابن الضال

11وقالَ يَسوعُ: «كانَ لِرَجلٍ اَبنانِ، 12فقالَ لَهُ الأصغَرُ: يا أبـي أعطِني حِصَّتي مِنَ الأملاكِ. فقَسَم لهُما أملاكَهُ. 13وبَعدَ أيّامِ قَليلةٍ، جمَعَ الابنُ الأصغَرُ كُلَ ما يَملِكُ، وسافَرَ إلى بِلادٍ بَعيدَةٍ، وهُناكَ بَدَّدَ مالَهُ في العَيشِ بِلا حِسابٍ. 14فلمَّا أنفَقَ كُلَ شيءٍ، أصابَت تِلكَ البلادَ مَجاعةِ
قاسِيَةِ، فوقَعَ في ضيقٍ. 15فلَجأ إلى العَمَلِ عِندَ رَجُلٍ مِنْ أهلِ تِلكَ البِلادِ، فأرسَلَهُ إلى حُقولِهِ ليَرعى الخنازيرَ. 16وكانَ يَشتَهي أنْ يَشبَعَ مِنَ الخُرنُوبِ الذي كانَتِ الخنازيرُ تأكُلُهُ، فلا يُعطيهِ أحدٌ. 17فرَجَعَ إلى نَفسِهِ وقالَ: كم أَجيرٍ عِندَ أبـي يَفضُلُ عَنهُ الطَّعامُ، وأنا هُنا أموتُ مِنَ الجوعِ. 18سأقومُ وأرجِـعُ إلى أبـي وأقولُ لَه: يا أبـي، أخطَأتُ إلى السماءِ وإلَيكَ، 19ولا أستحِقُّ بَعدُ أنْ أُدعى لكَ اَبنًا، فعامِلْني كأَجيرٍ عِندَكَ.
20فقامَ ورجَعَ إلى أبـيهِ. فَرآهُ أبوهُ قادِمًا مِنْ بَعيدٍ، فأشفَقَ علَيهِ وأسرَعَ إلَيهِ يُعانِقُهُ ويُقَبِّلُهُ. 21فقالَ لَهُ الابنُ: يا أبـي، أخطَأْتُ إلى السَّماءِ وإلَيكَ، ولا أستَحِقُّ بَعدُ أنْ أُدعى لكَ اَبنًا. 22فقالَ الأبُ لخَدَمِهِ: أسرِعوا! هاتُوا أفخَرَ ثوبٍ وأَلْبِسوهُ، وضَعُوا خاتَمًا في إصبَعِهِ وحِذاءً في رِجلَيهِ. 23وقَدِّموا العِجلَ المُسمَّنَ واَذبَحوهُ، فنَأْكُلَ ونَفرَحَ، 24لأنَّ اَبني هذا كانَ مَيْتًا فعاشَ، وكانَ ضالاُ فَوُجِدَ. فأخذوا يَفرَحونَ.
25وكانَ الابنُ الأكبرُ في الحَقلِ، فلمَّا رجَعَ واَقتَرَبَ مِنَ البَيتِ، سَمِعَ صَوتَ الغِناءِ والرَّقصِ. 26فدَعا أحَدَ الخَدَمِ وسألَهُ: ما الخَبرُ؟ 27فأجابَهُ: رجَعَ أخوكَ سالِمًا، فذبَحَ أبوكَ العِجْلَ المُسَمَّنَ. 28فغَضِبَ ورَفَضَ أنْ يَدخُلَ. فخَرَجَ إلَيهِ أبوهُ يَرجو مِنهُ أنْ يَدخُلَ، 29فقالَ لأبـيهِ: خَدَمْتُكَ كُلَ هذِهِ السِّنينَ وما عَصَيتُ لكَ أمرًا، فما أعطَيتَني جَدْيًا واحدًا لأفرَحَ بِهِ معَ أصحابـي. 30ولكنْ لمَّا رجَعَ اَبنُكَ هذا، بَعدَما أكَلَ مالَكَ معَ البَغايا، ذَبَحتَ العِجلَ المُسَمَّنَ!
31فأجابَهُ أبوهُ: يا اَبني، أنتَ مَعي في كُلِّ حِينٍ، وكُلُّ ما هوَ لي فهوَ لكَ. 32ولكِنْ كانَ علَينا أنْ نَفرَحَ ونَمرَحَ، لأنَّ أخاكَ هذا كانَ مَيِّتًا فَعاشَ، وكانَ ضالاُ فَوُجِد

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

هذا الابن البائس الذى دائماً ما نسمع قصته المخزية، فها هو يطالب أبيه بنصيبه من الميراث بينما أبيه على قيد الحياه، ويوافق أبيه حزيناً حتى لا يتهمه بأنه لا يحبه أو يبخل عليه بما يطلب، وافق الأب وقلبه متألم على ما فعل ابنه به وايضاً على ما يتوقعه له من مستقبل، فقد أدرك الأب أن من يمثل هذه الشخصية والتفكير لن يستطيع أن ينجح ويحيا بمفرده... وذهب الابن بعيداً، وكما يلتصق
النحل بالزهر لامتصاص الرحيق، التصقت به مجموعة أصدقاء رديئة، وساروا معه أينما ذهب، فقط ليتمتعوا بأمواله التى كان يسرف فى انفاقها عليهم فى أيام ليست بكثيرة، نفذت الاموال! لم تعد هناك وفرة كما كانت فى البداية، كان الابن الغير حكيم ينفق أمواله كأنما ليست لها نهاية، وأنها سوف تجعله آمن كل الأيام، لكنه فوجئ بأمواله وقد نفذت، لم يجد مال لطعام أو شراب أو مبيت... لم يكن يتقن أى عمل، فكانت نهايته فى حظيرة خنازير، يطعمهم ويشتهى طعامهم، ولكن لا يجد من يعطيه اياه... نهاية مأساوية لمن كان مترف وهناك عشرات الخدم فى بيت أبيه يخدمونه ويتمنون رضاه... ثم يفيق الابن من غفلته، ويتذكر أن أبيه على قيد الحياة، لم لا يذهب اليه ويطلب منه الصفح؟ حتى وإن لامه على انفاق ميراثه، هو لا يريد المال... الآن كان يشتهى أن يعيش كخادم فى بيت أبيه، يشتهى مأكل وملبس نظيف بعيداً عن الخنازير وقذارتهم، يشتهى أن يسكن فى بيت آمن بين من لا يتملقونه من أجل ماله ثم يفروا هاربين عندما ينفذ المال، عاد إلى صوابه وقام وذهب لأبيه راجياً إياه أن يصفح عنه ويقبله خادم ببيته لكن الأب الحنون المحب لم يقبل أن يكون ابنه، حبيبه خادم، قبله كابن محبوب من أبيه، لم يلمه على ما فعل، فقط احتضنه، وضع خاتماً ذهبياً فى اصبعه وأمر بذبح أسمن عجل لديه من أجل الاحتفال بابنه الذى كان ضالاً فوجد، كان ميتاً فعاش

هذه هى القصة الرائعة التى نعرفها، نتمنى أن نتب مثل هذا الابن الضال فنرجع فى أحضان أبينا... لكن هناك من ننساه دائماً فى هذه القصة؟ ترى من؟؟؟ من هو الذى يتوارى طوال القصة ويظهر فقط فى النهاية متذمراً

انه الابن الأكبر، الأخ الاكبر لهذا الابن الضال الطائش، هذا الابن كان مستقيماً، باراً بأبيه، يرعى أغنام أبيه وأرضه، ويقضى يومه فى الاهتمام بمصالح أبيه وأمواله، لم يكن يطالب بأشياء مميزة، لم يكن يذكر نصيبه فى الميراث أمام أبيه، لم يكن مثيراً لأية مشاكل
لكن فى آخر القصة، ظهر الابن الأكبر فجأة بصورة مختلفة، الآن أصبح متذمراً، غيوراً، ثائراً على أبيه وأخيه، فجأة أحس أنه أضاع عمره سدى، السنوات التى قضاها فى خدمة أبيه لم تؤتى ثمارها، وجد أخيه الضال يرجع باكياً ثم يعود لكانته الأولى بل أكثر، أتى يشاركه الميراث ثانية!! لم تكن له محبه تجاه أخيه، كان يتمنى ألا يعود أبداً، من الممكن أنه قد كان يعمل طوال هذه السنوات بنية

الاستيلاء على الميراث، ربما كان سر أن يرحل أخيه حتى يزيد من ثروة أبيهما ويتمتع بها كلها وحده... تذمر، ترك كل مظاهر الطاعة والبر بأبيه عندما أحس بما يهدد مصلحته ونيته، لم يجد حرجاً من محاكمة أبيه على ما أقام من مظاهر احتفالات بأخيه، ثار ولام أبيه على عدم اعطائه ولو جدى صغير يقيم به وليمة مع أصدقائه، فها هو عنده نفس الرغبات التى كانت لأخيه، لكنه كان يجمحها فقط للتقرب من أبيه لأجل مصلحة وليس عن محبة، لم يستطع أن يستمر فى تمثيله دور الابن البار عندما تعارضت الأحداث مع مشاريعه.... كلنا نلوم الابن الضال، ولا نلاحظ الابن الأكبر الذى عاش فى كذبه أعواماً، بينما الابن الضال عاد لحضن أبيه بعدما ندم و رجع عن محبة وثقة بأبيه ومسامحته

من منا مثل هذا الابن الأكبر، ولا ندرى؟! من منا تذمر من أبينا عندما منعت عنه بركة معينة، ثم عايره بسنوات خدمة وطاعة .... كاذبة

They said about work...

2006-05-02T09:10:00.000+03:00

Plans are only good intentions unless they immediately degenerate into hard work. - Peter F. Drucker

The more I want to get something done, the less I call it work. - Richard Bach

Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work. - Thomas A. Edison

Opportunities are usually disguised as hard work, so most people don't recognize them. - Ann Landers

Far and away the best prize that life has to offer is the chance to work hard at work worth doing. - Theodore Roosevelt

Nobody can be successful unless he loves his work. - David Sarnoff

It is your work in life that is the ultimate seduction. - Pablo Picasso

We work to become, not to acquire. - Elbert Hubbard

Work done without love doesn't last long. - Lilo ;)

Tanateef

2006-04-27T11:48:00.000+02:00

"Strength is the capacity to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands -- and then just eat one of the pieces." - Judith Viorst

If this is the measure of strength then i am sooo sooooooo weak! :(

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Few months after graduation from college.. one of my friends told me that she changed all our nicknames on her mobile to our real names! She said that it was no longer appropriate to call ourselves those silly names... i was surprised, and sad.
What's wrong with our names? Lilo, Lolo, Yazzie, Kiki, Miro, Feeky and Sherry??! What's wrong with keeping those silly, beautiful names? ... Does being older mean being serious and forgetting the fun?

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In general, security means keeping the people of the "house" secure against outsiders who might do them harm. That is the bad intentions are assumed in the people out of the "house". This is always the case, except in software systems! Bad intentions are assumed in the people of the house, that is the users themselves of the system. Hence security prevents any house member from using or seeing another house member's work. Funny :)! This is different from the security of the system itself against outsiders.

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Try to imagine what could happen in Egypt if the supply of foul & tea goes down! and people do not find foul to eat or tea to drink by time. I could only imagine a revolution...!

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Watch carefully God's creations: God gave us mountains full of different metals, but left extracting the metals from the rocks to us. God gave us the sea full of fish, but left catching those fish to us. God gave each one of us a certain hair quality, but left how long the hair is to us. God told us what's good & what's bad, and left the choice for us. So do not say again: "this is God's will" the next time you fail.

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Two mice fell in a bowl of milk, one of them kept weeping & drowned, the other kept swimming, till he turned the milk into butter & got out. (from the movie "Catch me if you can")

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فرحة مقتولة - (حب وسلام سابقاً) - رقم 100

2006-04-25T21:00:00.000+02:00

قعدت كتير أفكر أكتب ايه فى البوست رقم 100 ده.. قلت لازم يكون مميز وجديد.. دورت على أحلى حاجه ممكن أتكلم فيها، دورت على أحلى مشاعر عند البشر، مالاقتش غير الحب.. قلت أتكلم عن الحب، أقول من تانى ان المحبة تحل أى مشكلة فى الدنيا، أقولوكو انى مؤمنة جداً ان المحبة هى اللى حتحل كل مشاكل البشر النفسية والجسدية، لو زاد الحب تقل كل حاجة وحشة.. كنت حأقول ان كل احتفالات الكنيسة فى الفترة دى والصلاة والسجود والتسبيح كل ده عبارة عن احتفال بمحبة ربنا لكل البشر، فى ايه محبه أعظم من ان المحب يفدى اللى بيحبه بأنه يموت عشانه!! مفيش طبعاً، ومحبة ربنا لينا هى اللى تعلمنا نحب بعض، كل ما (نلزق) فى ربنا، نعرف نحب اللى حوالينا.. السيد المسيح ساب لنا قدر هائل من المحبة والسلام، محبة غريبة محدش يقدر يستوعبها إلا الى بيحب فعلاً، يبص على الصليب ويبص للى بيحبه، ساعتها يعرف يعنى ايه صليب

وساب لنا سلام عجيب غريب، يخلى الواحد فينا يفضل هادى ومطمن وهو وسط حرب، السيد المسيح قالها: "سلامى أترك لكم، سلامى أنا أعطيكم، ليس كما يعطى العالم" أيوة مش زى اللى بيديه العالم أبداً، مفيش حاجة اسمها سلام عشان عملنا مع العدو اتفاقية محدش يموت التانى، مفيش حاجة اسمها سلام عشان عندى فلوس كتير فى البنك وبطنى مليانة، مفيش غير سلام السيد المسيح اللى بيخلى القلب مطمن وبارد، حتى لو حواليه مولع نار، ماعرفش ازاى، معرفش ازاى لما اسمع ان الطيور المريضة بأنفلونزا الطيور رموها فى النيل والميه بقت ملوثة، معرفش ازاى أفضل هادية وأضحك وماروحش أجرى أشترى كراتين ميه بالشكل المسعور اللى حصل، ده سلام جوه القلب معرفش ازاى بيدخله... عشان كده قلت أتكلم عن المحبة والسلام فى البوست 100

وقبل مأكتب، حصل اللى حصل فى الأسكندرية! فى أول أسبوع الآلام.. فى اليوم اللى الناس بتستعد فيه للاحتفال بالمحبة اللامتناهية، قتل وضرب وشر طلع يطنتط فى ثانية، وتصريحات الحكومة اللى تخلى الواحد يغلى أكتر من الحوادث نفسها!! جد عجوز خارج من الكنيسة هو وحفيدته، موتوه! طب ليه؟؟ استفدتوا ايه! أثبتوا ايه؟! والدنيا ولعت نار.. بس اللى حصل كان غريب.. الكنايس بدل ما الناس تخاف تروحها فى الأيام اللى بعدها، كانت مليانة على آخرها، فى كنيستى الناس ماكانتش لاقية مكان تقعد فيه من بعد 8 الصبح! الصلوات كانت أعلى وطالعة من القلب تحرق أى شيطان يحاول يظهر.. هو ده سلام المسيح اللى كنت عايزة أحكى عليه، اتجسد فى كل كنيسة فى أسبوع الآلام.. وحضرنا كل الصلوات، وكل صلوة آلاف كانت بتصلى من أجل بلدنا وأمنها وسلامها، أيوة الكنيسة بتصلى كل يوم عشان مصر، ساعات بحس ان مصر دى لسه عايشة بصلوات الكنيسة ليها كل يوم، صلينا واحتفلنا وعيدنا، وقلنا "لن تقدر أبواب الجحيم علينا" ومصر لسه حتكمل، قلت أكتب عن قوة الصلاة والمحبة والسلام فى البوست 100

وقبل مأكتب، حصل اللى حصل فى دهب! لأ بقى كفاية، حرام.. مش كفاية طابا وشرم؟! مش كفاية يعنى الدم، لازم يبقى فى كل شبر فى سينا؟ دهب الجميلة الهادية اللى الطبيعة فيها بتسبح ربنا بجمالها؟ دهب اللى الناس بتروحها تنسى الدنيا فيها وتنسى هى مين ومشاكلها ايه! دهب أول مدينة أشوفها فى سينا، فى أجمل ذكرياتى مع أصدقاء عمرى من المدرسة، أول مرة أشوف البحر الأحمر كان فيها، أول مرة أشوف جبال جنب المية كان فيها، وازاى بقى نسيبها كدة حلوة ومسالمة؟ فجّر فجّر، اقتل اقتل، أيوة كمان، عايزين دم أكتر، عايزين نموّت دهب خالص... عايزين السياح يبطلوا ييجوا و التجار يفلسوا، يللا ولعوها، وكل واحد يطلع فى قناة يفتى بقى، دول يهود اللى عملوها، التانى يقولك لأ دى إيران بترد على حسنى مبارك، التالت يقول جماعات ارهابية مستهدفين مصر.... كله كلام، محدش عارف الحقيقة، أكتب ايه ولا ايه
مالاقتش بقى حاجة أكتبها ساعتها، الفرحة اتقتلت خلاص، راحت فين كل الصلوات؟ راح فين السلام؟ محتاجين نصلى أسبوعين تلاتة آلام تانى، يمكن نعرف نفرح تانى

كفاية بقى
تعبنا وبلدنا تعبت
---------------------------------
تحديث: حد لاحظ ان أخبار تفجيرات دهب قلت قوى قوى من التليفزيون؟ امبارح بدور على أى خبر مش لاقية.. هو فيه ايه؟ يا خوفى مسئول من الداخلية يطلع يقول انه واحد "مختل عقلياً" هو اللى ورا التفجيرات وانهم خلاص مسكوه وبيعالجوه على حساب الدولة فى لومان طره!! آآآآه

Lilo mass7oba men lesanha!

2006-04-02T00:00:00.000+02:00

We7yatko 7ad ye2olli leh ana batda7'all feli maleesh feh????

The story goes like this: i am a shopping addict, i love shopping and i buy lots of things regularly, specially cloths, shoes, handbags...etc.
And i usually go to the same shops where i feel comfortable buying from. The problem is i always have an open mouth and i tell the friends with me about previous purchases from this shop, whether it was good or bad. Unfortunately, there is always another lady or more eavesdropping! and she politely excuses to enter the conversation to ask me - as a shopping specialist - about an item she is about to buy!! And of course the helpful, kind, people-loving Lilo is always ready to offer services.

What usually happen is the lady is asking about something i have bought earlier and turned out to be not so good,, and so i tell her the problem of the item!! till now there might not be a problem...... but for my good luck, the seller is there standing , hearing me advice her not to buy, and starting to get fumes out of his ears and nose!! He is always about to kick me out in the street saying: wenty maal ahlek enty, bawazty el bee3a!! but out of courtesy he doesn't do this, he just gives me the worst hateful look he can afford. And then Lilo finds herself in a very awkward situation when the lady ( or even my friend) changes her mind and walks out of the shop. At this moment i usually pretend that i have an important meeting with Hassouna beta3 el laban that i just remembered, and try to walk out as quick as i can, sometime leaving my friend behind in the fitting room!

The same thing happened yesterday when a lady was about to buy a pair of shoes similar to one i bought few months ago and she over heard me tell my friend Lolo that it is so comfortable BUT the heel hurt after walking for a long time and it is good to wear at work but without a lot of walking around. The lady asked me politely to repeat what i just said and i found out that i cannot afford to lose Lotfy as a favorite shoe shop, so i repeated again what i said but with some decorations and recommending this shoes as the best in the market ;)

Maho lawo bass Lilo tesskot we te2fell bo2aha !! or at least i can give my recommendations without the seller standing near :D

اتعلم

2006-03-29T09:58:00.000+02:00

اتعلم ازاى تضحك فى عز نكدك
اتعلم ازاى تدارى دمعة عايزة تجرى على خدك
اتعلم تقول لنفسك كله حيبقى تمام
اتعلم تعمل اللى عليك ودايما تبص لقدام
اتعلم تقدر الناس اللى تستاهل
اتعلم محدش ياكل حقك ويعدى بالساهل
اتعلم انك تفضل زى مانتا مهما مع مين اتعاملت
لو بدأت تتكلم لغتهم حتلاقى نفسك لمستواهم نزلت
اتعلم دلوقتى لو كنت لسه ماتعلمت

Today

2006-03-20T17:20:00.000+02:00

Out of fear comes courage, and out of death comes a new life.
It gets dark in the reception of the new dawn, and the warmth fills the world up after the chill.

Look at yourself, you look the same as the day you fell down in mud.
But today you are up straight, with your shoulders above the sky.
Today you are wearing the same cloths like when your heart was broken, thrown to the ground.
Only now with a new fixed one, no stitches or pain.

Out of fear comes courage, and out of death comes a new life.
You can't help but get up from the mud, collecting the pieces off the ground,

for life won't let you do otherwise...

Today's Quote

2006-03-09T09:30:00.000+02:00

When I despair,

I remember that all through history

the way of truth and love has always won.

There have been tyrants, and murderers,

and for a time they can seem invincible,

but in the end

they always fall,

always.

Mahatma Gandhi
__________________

Gandhi, this man was really a powerful man.

He was facing armies with such beliefs.

The power is in the will, not the tool.

Alissa's new Album "Bastanak"

2006-03-05T14:18:00.000+02:00

And here she goes again: Alissa's new album was released 2 weeks ago, and she's doing it again... this girl knows how to sing songs that touch the heart....

I remember the day i started loving Alissa's music, it was one day, more than a year ago when i was going back home from Arcadia mall where i was having a course. It was round 7 pm and i was exhausted. I was riding one of those air conditioned mini buses and the radio played Alissa's song "Ahla doneya". it was simply great, the music, the lyrics, and her voice. And i was in the tired, relaxed mood that makes me romantic ;) it was the first time that i heard the song, and it really touched me...and the next day i bought her album.

Her new album is as beautiful, romantic & touching as the previous "Ahla doneya", even better...
I recommend listening to "Bastanak" guys, and tell me ur opinions ...

Today's Quote

2006-02-27T09:45:00.000+02:00

"Imagination was given to us

to compensate for what we are not;

a sense of humor was given to us

to console us for what we are."

;))

Mark McGinnis

Quotes

2006-02-21T15:05:00.000+02:00

"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong." - Mohandas Gandhi
"Out of your vulnerabilities will come your strength." - Sigmond Freud
"We must have the courage to allow a little disorder in our lives." - Ben Weininger
"Determine that the thing can and shall be done, and then we shall find the way." - Abraham Lincoln
"The thing you fear most has no power.Your fear of it is what has the power.Facing the truth really will set you free." - Oprah Winfrey
"Without heroes, we are all plain people and don’t know how far we can go." - Bernard Malamud
"If I have learned one thing in this life, it is that God will not tie my shoes without me." - Doug Boyd
"A rock pile ceases to be a rock pile the moment a single man contemplates it, bearing within him the image of a cathedral." - Antoine de Saint-Exupery

معبودة الجماهير - Happy Valentine's

2006-02-14T12:00:00.000+02:00

دول ناس بتعرف تعمل أفلام بجد

بمناسبة عيد الحب النهاردة جابوا فيلم (معبودة الجماهير) بطولة عبد الحليم وشادية

ايه ده! الفيلم ده تحفة.. كل مرة أشوفه كأنى بشوفه لأول مرة.... الفيلم ده كل حاجه فيه جميلة: القصة، الأغانى كلمات وألحان، الممثلين، الألوان والديكور، حتى تسريحة شعر شادية وماكياجها... كله تحفه

والأغانى بقى حاجة تانيه خالص ، الفيلم إنتاج 1963... إخراج حلمي حليم

أنا قعدت أدور على النت على كلماتها ومين مألفهم وملحنهم... بس مش عارفة أجيب الكلمات، كل الللى لقيته هو أسامى الأغانى

أغاني فلم معبودة الجماهير
حاجه غريبه

أحبَك

جَبار - أغنية جبارة

لست قلبي

بلاش عتاب، وبالنسبة لبلاش عتاب

وكانت من ضمن أغانيه "بلاش عتاب" التى إستغرق كمال الطويل فى تلحينها مدة الأربعة سنوات التى إستغرقتها مدة تصوير الفيلم.... ياااااه تصوروا، تصوير الفيلم 4 سنين، واللحن بتاع بلاش عتاب أخد برضو 4 سنين!! دلوقتى الشريط بيتعمل فى 4 أسابيع

الفيلم ده جامد قوى، نفسى ألاقى كلمات الأغانى، اللى ماشفش الفيلم يجرى يشوفه، أو يجيب الأغانى على الاقل

أكيد مش حيسيبك

2006-02-12T23:45:00.000+02:00

لما الدنيا تضيق قوى حواليك

لما المشاكل تضغط بكل حملها عليك

لما تحس إنك ضعيف مش قادر تشيل

ومعندكش حلول خلاص

ادخل واقفل عليك

غمض عينك وقول يا رب

يا رب ساعدنى

مش قادر... شيل معايا

استنى شوية واسمع

اسمع بروحك مش بودانك

حتلاقى فى ضعفك قوة

وفى وسط حزنك فرح هادى وواثق

كل حاجة ليها حل

بس فكر حبة

ولما تطلب من ربنا يحلها معاك

أكيد مش حيسيبك

مبروك مبروك مبرووووك

2006-02-10T23:00:00.000+02:00

والله وعملوها العيال بتوعنا .... ألف ألف مبروووووك الفوز

بجد عيال جامدة .... وحسن شحاتة: يا معلم

Believe me:

2006-02-10T00:25:00.000+02:00

There is absolutely No pain, No illness, No failure, No hate, No problem, No circumstances that You cannot defeat..

تناتيف

2006-02-08T18:30:00.000+02:00

المسئولية هى اللى بتبين الناس فعلاً، لما ترمى مسئولية على حد رد فعله حيبين معدنه: فيه اللى يخاف ويهرب، وفيه اللى يشوف مصلحته من وراها ايه ولو لقى المصلحة تستاهل ياخد المسئولية، وفيه اللى يجرى عليها ويشيلها ويطلع جدع، وفى اللى ياخدها منظرة وفى الآخر يرميها لحد تانى من تحت الترابيزة، وفى بنى آدم طبيعى: ياخدها وهو قلقان، ويعمل اللى يقدر عليه ولما ينجح فى الآخر يفرح انه عمل حاجة عليها القيمة
عايز تكشف معدن حد : ارمى عليه مسئولية

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

مرة جالى عريس من اللى بيقولوا عليهم صالونات، سألنى بحب أعمل ايه، قلتله بكتب قصص وشعر ، قاللى: من خيالك؟!!! قلتله آه....... قاللى مش شايفه انك مفروض تبقى واقعيه وتعيشى فى الواقع!! قلتله يعنى أعمل ايه عشان أبقى أكثر واقعية من انى مهندسة كمبيوتر؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟ وشكرته من قلبى انه بينلى غباؤه من أولها

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

نفسى أعرف ايه علاقة كاوتش عربيتى بالدنمارك؟؟؟؟؟؟ ليه مع الهيصة بتاعت صور الدنمارك المنيلة دى واحد قرر أن كاوتشات عربيتى الغلبانة هو سبب المشكلة وفضالى ال4 فرد مرتين وجبهالى على الجنط؟؟!!! أنا لا عمرى رحت الدنمارك ولا ليا أصول إسكندنافية يا عالم!!!!!! زنبها إيه زووكا... ومبطلش يعمل كدة إلا لما ركنتها فى حتة بعيدة مستخبية

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

كنت تعبانه وزعلانه، ملانه ومضايقة، مش طايقى نفسى ولا عيشتى

مش عارفة فيه ايه

مالى

لغاية ما يوم ماما قالتلى مالك

قلتلها مش مبسوطة

قالتلى تخيلى حاجات حلوة كتير حتحصلك وتخليكى مبسوطة

عيشى انشالله فى أوهامك أحلى أحلامك

فجأة فهمت، عرفت

عرفت كنت ليه مضايقة

عشان بطلت أحلم

بطلت أتمنى لبكرة وأحلم بيه

وأول مارجعت أحلم تانى

كل حاجة بقت جميلة ورجعت زى زمان

لما بطلت أحلم، مت

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Why is the attractive girl called "hot" while the attractive guy is called "cool"???

Minesweeper

2006-02-03T23:03:00.000+02:00

OK, i've been training on Minesweeper for sometime now ;) , and here's what i figured out about this game, just like what i did with Solitaire

Risk is an useperable part of life.
Take your time and be careful before taking any new step.
Sometimes there are obvious signs of danger that we are careless to notice.
One small step can open a broad horizon with many good potentials. We just have to take the risk.
There are times when there is no way out other than blind choices. So here again comes the risk of life. If you do not take this blind decision, you'll stand still, unable to go on.

ROBERT

2006-01-31T00:37:00.000+02:00

Robert.
This name came across my mind today. Robert is one of the few people I met in my life and left a mark. In my school we used to go on camps in the summer. Those camps were really so effective in our lives (we RCG girls).

Attending week-long camps at such an early age as 4th primary or 5th all the way up to high school, this helped us a lot in building our characters. Each camp had a theme, or main idea, and they would invite significant people or celebrities to join our camp & lecture us about the theme. Since our school is a former American college, we had contacts abroad. So back to Robert: he was a Scottish art teacher who attended with us the camp of my 1st preparatory summer.

Robert was a person that no one can help but admire. In a simple word, he was fun. He had a very charming looks, tall, white, golden long hair, very smart features and athletic body. He was round 24 years old then, and had plans for a 100 years to come.

He was talented also in arts, in fact he was in charge of ALL our art activities through out the week. Not art only but also our games & tally-matches. Till here he might be an over average guy but still just like any guy. Well, that wasn't all. He was also a very close to God person. He preached us about God, and how he can love us all equally and unconditionally. He taught us about love. Can you imagine such an attractive guy like that teaching teenage girls about love! Well let me tell you that we all dealt so easily with him and without feeling any awkwardness.

In short we had so much fun this year with Robert, that we already started talking with him about the next years camp & how we wanted him to come again. He said he will come most probably.

So a year passed, it was 2nd preparatory summer and we all made reservations in the camp. I was wondering if Robert's gonna come. Then when I was on the phone with a friend of mine gossiping about the upcoming camp, I asked her if she knew if Robert was coming. She stopped talking for 1/2 a minute. I was so surprised! What's wrong?

Then she told me.
Robert, that vibrant, charming man, that beautiful person who taught us about love & life, was gone!
He drowned in the sea while he was swimming.
---------
I knew the next camp won't be as good as the last one. We all missed Robert, but we never really talked about him. I'll never forget Robert, and how he taught me that there is never anything wrong in being cool, life-lover, and being close to God and righteous. He taught me that arts are the best way to express yourself. He was too good to be true. And like a comet, he appeared so shiningly in my life, but for a very little time.

God Bless you Robert.

أنا كنت فين؟

2006-01-31T00:31:00.000+02:00

أنا كنت فين؟

كانت ليلو ترقد على فراشها طوال الأسبوع الماضى. الفراش الذى أصبح فراش مرض!! ترقد وحيدة، فى غرفة مظلمة، لا تستطيع فتح عينيها من كثرة........... لا لا لا بلاش الجو ده

أنا تقريباً خفيت، مش لازم بقى جو الكآبة دهأنا كنت عيانة فعلاً لمدة أسبوع - أسبوع عصييييب جداً، تصوروا الحاجات البسيطة جداً زى المشى، الوقوف والكلام! الحاجات دى ماكنتش قادرة أعملها... الرؤية كمان كانت مستحيلة، الصورة بتجرى قدام عينى زى قناة تليفزيون مش مظبوطة - قلت الحقونى، شوفوا مالى، عمك الدوك قال كلمته: التهاب حاد فى الأذن الداخلية (الداخلية مش الوسطى - كل الناس فاكرة انها الوسطى!!) ولابد من الراحة لتامة لمدة اسبوع فى السرير وفى اوضة ضلمة! مع عدم الحركة اطلاقاً إلا للشديد القوى... اللى هو الحمام ولامؤخاذة...حتى ده كنت بتسند لغاية ما أوصله

وبدأت أتعس أيامى فى 2006! دا إحنا لسه بنقول يا هادى.... أول 3 أيام كانت حالتى تمام زى الجثة! مرميه طول النهار على السرير "بلا حراك" ... حلوة بلا حراك دى ... النور مطفى والتليفزيون مقفول لأنى مش قادرة أتابعه، الممثلين بيجروا ويترعشوا!!! وكل كام ساعة أسف شوية أدوية وأرجع لدور الجثة تانى، أو أقوم نص قومة فى السرير عشان آكل ومعدتى توجعنى وأرجع أرقد تانى... ماهو الالتهاب ده بيجيب غثيان كمان ومعدتى ماكنتش طايقة حاجةبعد يومين، الفرق بين الليل والنهار: راح.... الخط الفاصل بين النوم واليقظة: بخ، اتمحى... ماما تصحينى عشان الدوا أسألها هو النهاردة ايه؟ تقوللى الخميس، أقولها: الصبح ولا باليل؟!! وقبل ماسمع الاجابة أكون رحت فى النوم... فى أول يوم قال ايه كنت قلقانة لحسن ماقدرش أروح الشغل تانى يوم! تانى يوم صحيت لقيت نفسى مش قادرة أقوم مالسرير أصلاً!! ويوم يجر يوم لما عدى أسبوع... أصلا بعد تالت يوم أنا نسيت أنا مين وباشتغل ايه ولا فين

التحسن بدأ فى خامس يوم.. بدأت أعرف أقعد عدلة فى السرير... وأقدر أمشى للحمام من غير ما أقع... شوفوا حاجات عادية بنعملها كل يوم ببساطة، ممكن تبقى عزيزة قوى فى المرض! الحمد لله أنا دلوقتى خفيت، وزى كل مرة أرقد فى السرير، أقوم وأنا حاسة فعلاً ان الصحة دى أكبر نعمه عندنا، من غيرها مش حانبقى عايشين أصلاً... يا رب ما حد يجرب الالتهاب القاتل ده أبداً... خدوا بالكو ودفوا نفسكو ومتعملوش طرازانات وتلبسوا خفيف، ومحبكش الخروج فى السقعة والمطر يعنى!! طبعاً النصايح دى ليا أنا أولكم! هو جابلى الكافية الا الحركات دى

المهم، الحمدلله ليلو عادت بسلام... أوانها لسه ماجاش ... لازال فى العمر حبه

BEAUTY

2006-01-22T23:54:00.000+02:00

Can you see the beauty?
It's everywhere around us.
You will see it in every living thing.
You will see it in everything made by man, with love.
It's not the loud, sharp beauty.
It's the kind that makes you smile, and gives you warmth of the heart.

Try to look to things differently from now on.
Search for that beauty inside everyone, everything and in every situation.
Save the time of anger and criticizm.
Instead, look at the bright sides.
When you discover the brightness, only then you can bear the darkness.

Feb. 17th, 2001.

Let them fly..

2006-01-22T23:41:00.000+02:00

Let me say my words, and may anyone hear them.
Let them fly all over the world, and go as far as they can.
Hoping they would touch someone, I let them go free.
Hear me, listen to me.
Young or old, woman or a man.
May someone get any use of what I say,
for up till now they are paper & ink.
Don't hesitate to hear it all, I pray.
Try to see the truth of it.
Try to love & think.

Jan. 15th, 2001.

Home

2006-01-21T02:11:00.000+02:00

This is what i call home: Home is gathering around the table for dinner together. Home is waking up at different times, returning back when there's no one awake, but still knowing for sure that there are loving people living with you under the same roof. Home is coming back from work and knowing no other destination to take rest and throw all the tiredness of the day. It is when you come home from a chilling cold weather, to find a delicious hot meal waiting for you. All the warmth after the coldness, and the love, the silent love that warms the hearts. Home is where you are yourself, not caring to decorate your image, and where you share all your fears and worries, your expectations and disappoinments, happiness and sadness.
Home is where you family and friends are, where your emotions rise up to pure satisfaction and calmness. Home is where all your dreams are first imagined, built and fulfilled. Home is where you grow up and enjoy doing it, it is where you want to be, where you take a breath to go on fighting again. You love your home as much as the love found in it. There is no place like home.

December 16th, 2002.

New year, new job, new hopes...

2006-01-21T00:00:00.000+02:00

It's a new year :) Happy new year to everyone.. i have been so much busy in the very first days of 2006, that i didn't even have time to notice that it is a new year.
A new job and new dreams, bigger than ever.. i feel i have entered a new broad world. The idea of a multinational company is still settling in my mind, and the appeal is high. I actually began dreaming of working in other countries all over the world. We have branches in a 130 countries!! and Egypt is just one... the chances are many#$%@!!
So here i am now, after regaining some balance after the change, i am back to blog. I don't know why i am haunted by the movie i saw last week, and decided to blog about it, it's called "Final Destination". It's a bit old, but it's my first time to watch it. Its story is so short, but it has a big meaning hidden inside. It tells a story about a group of students taking a flight in an aeroplane, and one of them gets a sudden vision that the plane will explode and all of them will die. He panics and makes a fuss, so he is taken off the plane with a group of his friends and a teacher. The plane takes off without them, and while his friends are blaming him for acting nuts, the plane simpley explodes in the air in front of their eyes, after only 2 minutes of flying!
They all get the feeling that they were saved and that a new chance has been given to them, while all their classmates die. But the problem has just started! The story goes that all the survivors get killed one by one in the weirdest ways. The freakiest idea is introduced: they all should have been killed in the plane explosion, but they cheated Death(!!) and now Death is after them to get even and follow the pattern drawn to the lives. The moral is: death must get to you on the time set by God, and no one can cheat death.
No matter how we perceive this idea, but what it made me really think about is the idea that we are all in this big project and each one of us has a certain "deadline" that he must meet, and be prepared for. The trick here is: we do not actually know the date of our dealine. We are supposed to get prepared with our output, which is actually not predefined. We define the output we want to present on the deadline day that we do not know its date! And to make thing more complex: there are endless ways to choose from and endless decisions we have to make all the time. We must be caught in action since we do not know the date. So the best thing to do is: get busy working, developing yourself and building trusted relations with others, fill your life with love, build something strong and remarkable,.. and while you do all this, don't think about the deadline. Thinking about it will not add value to your life, it might actually prevent you from doing your best. Just work honestly and be sure that nothing goes in vain.

مش حأقدر أنسى

2005-12-27T00:55:00.000+02:00

كان يوم مختلف، مختلف أوى... النهاردة آخر يوم ليا رسمياً فى الشركة

والمفروض بكرة ماليش صفة آجى... مش قادرة أصدق!! أنا دلوقتى بقيت غريبة؟؟ أنا مش من العيلة دى

عمالة أدور على أى تلكيكة آجى بيها تانى للشركة... عايزة أأجل وقت مغادرتى النهائية

معقول جه يوم الحفلة خلاص!! بسرعة كدة

يااااه الحفلة دى صعبة عليا قوى، مش عايزة أحضرها

مش قادرة أختار الصليب الدهب الهدية ، مش عايزة هدايا لأن الهدية دى معناها خلاص

متشكرين

مع السلامة

لأ صعب قوى

طول اليوم الناس بتبتسملى وتتمنالى مستقبل حلو فى الشركة الجديدة، متشكرة قوى يا جماعة، بس حد أخد باله أن ده معناه انى مش حآجى بكرة؟؟؟ مين حيقولكو بونجور كل يوم، مين حيروح معاكو المشاوير الغلسة بتاعة العملاء بس برضو نقضى وقت ظريف ونضحك ونهزر

بس أقول ايه ماهو أنا اللى اخترت أمشى

أمرى لله

وبدأت الحفلة، مستر محمود بدأ يتكلم عنى وعن ال3 سنين اللى قضيتهم معاكو، لقيت نفسى بسرح بعيد، أفتكر مواقف كتيرة لا يمكن أنساها، ولقيت نفسى مش قادرة أتكلم أو أعقب على أى حاجة.... عشان الدموع كانت مليت عينيا

مش ممكن أنسى مستر محمود وثقته فيا وايمانه الشديد بالبنات وقدراتهم فى الشغل، وانه كان بيعتبرنى بنته مش موظفة عنده

ولا مستر عامر وطيبته اللى ملهاش حد، وعصير القصب الالزامى فى كل مشوار شغل

ولا منال وجمالها وحبها لينا كلنا زى ولادها، واهتمامها بكل واحد كأن ماوراهاش غيره

ولا أمل عشرى ورقتها وشياكتها وكونها مديرة تجنن

ولا هالة وشخصيتها الجميلة اللى تأسر اللى قدامها

ولا أمل رضوان الجميلة الجميلة الجميلة من كل الوجوه، مافيش كلام يكفيكى يا أمولة

ولا زعفرانى وتبنيه ليا فى الشغل وقد ايه علمنى ، ودايما يقولى بنتى الكبيرة

ولا حاتم وكورساته

ولا حمدى وتوجيهات الجمنازيوم، وحكاوى زينه بنته

ولا طارق وأحلامه المطرقعة ومشاوير الضرايب اللى كنا بنهلك فيها سوا، والطحينة اللى بيموت فيها

ولا ماريو اللى مش حلاقى زيه صديق تانى أبداً، وعربياتنا اللى كنا بنتلخبط فيها مع بعض، وضحكته الجميلة اللى بتجيب آخر الشارع، ولا تعبه فى تجهيز حفلة الوداع

ولا ماجد ومشاوير جاردن سيتى

ولا أحمد محب ولا أحمد محمد ولا مهند اللى رحت معاه آخر مشوار ليا فى ايسمارت

ولا نهى وشقاوتها ونباهتها وجنانها كمان

ولا مروة ورغيها وعشريتها وحكاوى ملًوكة بنتها

ولا محمد فتحى ومغامراته ورغينا مع بعض

ولا مى ولماضتها

ولا هانى وطيبته

ولا عمرو وروقانه

ولا أحمد عز ومرتباته

ولا شراكه اللى قعد اسبوع بس معايا بس كأنهم سنين

وناس تانية ملحقتش أقعد معاهم زى: محمد جلال، على

وعلى الشبراوى ، سيد، عم رمضان وهشام

والناس اللى مشيوا من زمان زى ياسر، ونورا، هانى اسكندر، وصفاء، سالى وماجد ويوسف ومرضى ومعاذ ومروة يوسف ومستر اسماعيل

ياااااه ناس كتيرة قوىىىى

أكيد نسيت ناس، سامحونى بس فعلاً: حافتقد كل واحد و كل يوم قضيته فى الشركة

يا رب أعرف أعمل لنفسى عيلة تانية زى كدة فى الشغل الجديد

شغلى كان متعب بس استمتعت بكل يوم فيه

الهيئة ومشاكلها، والرقابة وعقدها، و الضرايب وهيصتها، ومشاوير المهندسين والمعادى، وطنطا!!! والوراق، أنا كان عمرة ماسمعت عن الوراق دى قبل كدة

أحلى حاجة لمتنا مع بعض، وسندوتشات جاد الأبدية، وان ماكنش جاد يبقى بيتزا الفرن أو عيش وجبنه من مودى

يااااا أيام لا يمكن تتنسى

مش قادرة أبطل كلام، بس لازم أقف بقى، لازم أحاول أتأقلم

الحفلة كانت جميلة، كنت مبسوطة وزعلانة، اتصورنا كتير عشان منساش اللحظات دى أبداً

Winds of change

2005-12-23T23:58:00.000+02:00

"How long have you been in the company ya Lilo?"

I have heard this question many times from every new comer to my company, but this time it sounded different. This time I would tell him/her the period I spent... with no hope of making it longer. This time I am counting the years, and knowing they will never increase another year.

"Three years. In January I will complete three years in eSmart."

OH MY GOD! Three years. Three years have passed that quick? Three years passed and I'm supposed to be older, wiser and more experienced.... (I doubt the second;-) )

I loved this company the moment I walked in. I still remember this day... It was before new year's eve of 2002-2003. I couldn't find the building, it was dark & cold, and my car was burning! I have forgotten to check on the radiator water as usual :D

"163 el Hegaz street".

This is all what the secretary told me. This secretary was later my so good friend Noura... but she was so brief in describing the address and i wasn't that good in the streets of masr el gedida... Anyway, I kept searching the Hegaz street from Roxy to el Hegaz!
All of a sudden I saw a tall building and I had a feeling it was it! And it was right building ...

Then I had another feeling that it was on the first floor, she hadn't told me the floor number!! And it was the right floor :)

And of the 5 doors that were there, I chose to knock the door that turned out to be the company's door :)

Too much of good luck, and I had my first interview. Well, after negociations and refusing then another interview and negociating again... all in all it took me one week to decide to move to eSmart with a salary LESS than what I was earning in the first job. I just loved the place & people. And my 3 wonderful hard working years started. I began on the 20th of January 2003.

"Which desk do you want to sit on?"

YES! I actually chose the desk I sat on. I joined the company when it was only 3 months old, and there weren't any young engineers then, only 3 managers & 2 senior developers. I chose the desk i sat on out of 6 desks ready for the new engineers. It was fun! Though the work wasn't so appealing at first, but I had fun. It was my first real job, my first job was in a amateur small company.

I have lots & lots of memories there.... we were many working there from our class of handaza. It was like my section at college :) I had many friends working with me, and after few weeks we became family. I still remember how I used to go on Saturdays to a super market to buy grocery for the new week :D yeah we used to collect money every week & buy food. We would call (beta3 el 3eesh) from the balcony and buy (be 2 geneh 3eesh) everyday :-D

"Who didn't pay you this week ya Lilo?"

We had this Excel sheet to show who paid how much, and I would check it everyday with Sally :) We made a very cooperative team Sally & me, but we would fight like cats at times :)

"We have a presentation tomorrow. Get ready."

We used to go make presentations, Sally & me, and we had so much fun doing it. We went to many different places all over Cairo, and even outside Cairo. I enjoyed those presentations cause I learnt a lot from them. I developed more self confidence & self esteem. I learnt to face people, and not ordinary people, but ones who are experts in the IT world, and I had to convince them with our dear tool Smart Reports .
Not to mention that I liked going out of the office too;)

Years passed, and every few months someone would leave or a new one would come. We had a high employee turn over. But I loved them all, and i find it hard now to leave. eSmart now is not a company to me, it's a home. I can come and go any time or day. I can come at night to find colleagues still working. I would come on a Saturday to find colleagues working harder than weekdays. We would go together and play basket ball at club :D and then go eat by the swimming pool. We would gather every Ramadan on one table and have break-fast together. We would share each others news, laughs and cries. But most of our times were laughter.

Three years have passed and then came a time when I have to make the decision that i've been dreading most: leave eSmart !!! I couldn't imagine at first how i can do it... and I thought I would refuse the new offer as I did with all the previous offers I got during my stay in eSmart. But this time I just couldn't! All sane people agree that I cannot refuse my new offer. And I had to make this decision: leave. Leave home, and try to make a new one.

"You are leaving?!!!?! You are kidding, right? You can't be leaving. You can't leave aslan!"

Without talking about all the tears, all the worries and all the sadness that the decision implied, i am now in my final few days in eSmart. I can't talk about how my friends and colleagues took the news. They all thought i was kidding, and that seeing me leave was the last thing they ever expected. I am the oldest engineer now and people took it for granted that I'll always stay. I did too. I tried explaining why I took the decision, but no use. I felt trapped! So I really can't leave?!

For a few days everybody was awaiting me to change my mind. I was suspecting that I might do too. But I didn't. I am leaving. When everyone realized it was really happening, they began giving me this sad look of disappoinment, love and "we'll miss you". Oh God, I can't take it! It's really ripping my heart apart. Should I leave a good career opportunity for the sake of people I love & am attached to? Or should I go and try as hard as I can to keep in touch with them? I had many tough days thinking it over. Finally I realized I'm a career girl. I can never forgive myself for a mistake in my career. I'll go and may God help me keep those wonderful people in touch.

"We will miss you ya abou el Leel (as Mario liked to call me:))."
"And I will too. I cannot describe well how I feel, but I will miss you all dear friends, brothers, sisters, and mentors. I will always remeber every single one I met here. Wish me luck in my new job, and try as hard as I'll do to keep in touch."

!مش أنا قـلـت

2005-12-20T22:34:00.000+02:00

ما هو أنا قلت قبل كدة عايزة أبقى باندا ومحدش صدقنى

أهو النهاردة فى الأخبار جابوا خبر عن احتفال بالعيد ميلاد رقم 25 لباندا فى حديقة حيوان فى الصين، وجايبين فيديو للعيد ميلاد!! والباندا قاعدة مرحرحة فى البيت بتاعها وفى بنت صينية بتلاعبها وملبساها طرطور وبتأكلها تورتة فى بقها!! ومصورين كتير بيصوروا الاحتفال وطلعت الحفلة فى التليفزيون كمان ومش فى الصين بس لكن فى كل دول العالم

مقارنة صغيرة بين عيد الميلاد ده وعيد ميلادى أنا ال25 نلاقى من غير مجهود إن الباندا تكسب

أنا عايزة أبقى بانداااااا

Solitaire

2005-12-20T17:54:00.000+02:00

Have you ever played Solitaire? This simple game we all play on our computers when we are really bored. I have noticed things while playing it that i was amazed to realize. Solitaire actually gives you ideas for your life! I'm not halucinating, i mean it! Just read my remarks... and if you take those remarks and apply them to life, you can get what i meant ;)

1- Sometimes it seems blocked & no way out, but a small move can open a new way for winning.

2- Sometimes it seems so easy and winning is a must, but it might get blocked in the very last step.

3- Every step counts, one tiny step can make the whole game go wrong and u have to start all over again.

4- The best way to win is to focus on the goal, do not do any move unless it helps u win. Don't do it because it can be done, but u must have a point in doing it.

5- If you skip a good card, you can always scroll all the cards untill you get back to your lucky card again. It doesn't go away.

6- You must wait for the perfect moment to play the card. If it's used in the wrong time, it's useless.

7- You can never win all games. There are unwinnable games no matter how much you try and you cannot do anything about it.

8- Cards might look alike to you, but in fact if you look closer, each one is completely different from any other. Two red aces are not the same: one is a diamond, the other a heart.

9- Sometimes the solution is right infront of your eyes, but you cannot see it, because you think it's sometning else.

Anger

2005-12-12T11:53:00.000+02:00

You get annoyed, you start getting angry. Your blood pressure goes up and you feel hot. You think you have the right opinion, and the other is wrong, and he is still arguing! You just can't stop talking. You want to show your anger and prove your correctness. You get angrier, and you are about to explode! You are about to lose control and make a very stupid thing that you will repent doing later.

This what happens when we get angry. We get angry and try to act in the midest of our anger: the fatal mistake we do. At times of anger the person is not sane enough to make actions or take decisions. Never attempt to do that while you are angry.

If you watch yourself , you will find a thin line that when you cross you get into this state of anger and temporary insanity. The best thing is to avoid stepping over that line from the start. Do not let yourself reach the point where you have no control over your words &actions. You are the only one who will be harmed, or say the first one. The high blood presure, the hot flush, the headache and all the irritability &annoyance are affecting no one else but yourself.

Do yourself this favor and try to control your anger. Just try to do it once, you will find that you can REALLY control your temper. Do not step over the thin line and stay on the sane side of life :D

Today's Quote

2005-12-11T13:10:00.000+02:00

One of God's arrangements is that after winter there should come beautiful spring days. It happens every year and it happens in every life.

-Father Joseph

Still worth while

2005-12-10T00:15:00.000+02:00

Today i decided to wake up.
Today i decided to go one with my dream.
Today i decided that it's still worth while.

I'll get up once again.
I'll give my life another chance.
I'll confess my worth to myself.

Dreams are dreams and beautiful being just dreams.
Dreams can be more beautiful when they become real.
Dreams were never destructive or illusionary.

I will work harder, there are people who are waiting for my work.
I will be nicer, there are people who need a pat on the shoulder.
I will have more Faith, there is a great Savior offering his true Love.

Never give up, for this will be the end.
Never hate your reality, because what you can do to change it is what matters.
Never lose faith in Love, it is what keeps us alive.

2005-12-08T12:38:00.000+02:00

أَما أَنْت يا رب

أنت هو ناصرى

مجدي ورافع رأْسِي

بِصَوتي إِلَى الرَّبِّ أَصْرخُ

فيجيبُني منْ جَبَلِ قدْسه