"Until we meet" by Syreeta Elie

Until We Meet - by Syreeta Elie

Until we meet
My nights will be a little colder
My days a little shorter
My heart will beat a little less rapid

Until we meet
I know that my arms will be empty
My mind hurting from the constant thought of you
Minutes will seem to be hours
Hours will seem to be months
While months will seem like eternity

Until we meet
The stars in the sky will not affect me
with its gleaming sparkles of life
Until I am gazing at them in your arms
And the food that I eat will not be as fulfilling and nourishing
Until it is you that I share the my food with

And Until we meet
I will not feel whole
My world will seem incomplete
Until that wonderful day
When our eyes make first contact
And our souls collide in blissful whirlwind
The words will roll off my tongue like a sweet love song
"Hello, my love, I couldn't wait to meet you."


http://www.netpoets.com/poems/cyberlov/1433001.htm

Rhyme... Or something more

~Determination, frustration, agitation, solidification, inspiration, motivation, congratulation!
~Pain, main, complain, again, insane, go lame.
~Lost, forgot, found not, plot, got, cannot, still lost.
~Here, unclear, hear, smear, fear, ran out of here!
~Sin, been, within, determine, begin.

CMMI inspirations...

Have you ever seen a flock(serb) of birds flying together, going from one country to another and from one continent to another. They fly in harmony and change directions swiftly in a beautiful scene. There must be only one commander to guide them. They follow his guidance because they trust him! You'll never see each one flying in a seperate direction and collide with others. They always manage to arrive to their correct destination.
Have you ever seen a herd of penguins together? moving from one place to another in thousands and thousands. They also walk in order and patience with their slow short steps untill they arrive to where they wanted. They don't fight, or argue whether to go left or right. They get things done.
Fish also immigrate from rivers to the ocean or vice versa, they never get lost. So you see: birds, animals, fish, insects... all living things are naturally organized and do not need rules to follow, cause the rules are in their nature!
Now, finally, look at humans :) No need to compare but it's obvious. We need laws, rules, then fines and punishments, shouting and convincing to follow the rules! We need CMMI, ISO, QA,......
We need others tell us what to do to make things work. We need processes procedures, templates and endless workflows. Our world is full of words like capability, availability, accuracy, maturity....and endless y's and we still don't do things right or on time!

Faking it

...And suddenly you wake up to discover that there are lots of those people around you! The kind of people who fake it well... they say things they don't really understand, they try to have an image they don't really own. They fill the eyes and ears with stuff they didn't make themselves.. and they take the credit.

Life's so full of fakers now.. it seems it is the most commonly used way to success now... BUT i still think it is untrue success. What happened to the values of "accomplishing" and "working hard" and "building" something true... why is it the ready option now to "fake it"...

Don't you really hate people who say: "I gonna put this......" :) (as pure Americans taba3an they think that every word ending with (nna) replaces every word in life!!!!!)
Don't you get bothered by someone when he wears a t-shirt or something with a logo or idiom that he doesn't know what it means?
But the disaster is when you do something at work and then a smart guy comes along and pretend he spent days and nights working hard to do it, then takes credit for it while you r standing thr stunned! He's just good at faking it.. while all you know is doing the real thing

I know that sometimes thr r situations that force people (including me) to do that.. but that should be the exception not the rule! We should be ashamed of it and try not to do it again. But when it becomes the habit or rule, then it's the problem.

The thing is: if we will all going to fake it.. who will be real??!

Kooky

Those r recent photos for Kooky :D

Kooky pic1
and
Kooky pic2

Kooky beysannen!!

Kooky 7abeeby beysannen and he has fever :( we nazel 3add fe ma7'alee2 Rabena.. toob 3aleena ba2a ya Rab men 7ekayet el tasneen de!! la7san ana 7'alas estaweet 3add ...

Kooky is my 4-months old puppy :) and he has some troubles with his teeth.. yesterday i found out he had broken one of his 'aneyab' !! he is such a dum doggy :D and he is sick most of the time.. either cold or stomach ache... wala so7'n! i really feel i have a baby at home! and he really enjoys playing during eating!! i have to play with him in order to make him eat!! ya lahwyyyyy... ana kan mali we mal el 3eyal :) we klab kaman... bass besara7a... howa zai el 3assal
it is more than enough for me the way he welcomes me when i get back home... and specially if he were left alone... yooooh beye3mel fara7 :D and he is having the attention of all of us at home...
he learnt now to come and wake me in the morning in the exact time! bass taba3an beysa7eeny in the dog's own special way!! we kam 3adda maydoresh...

i just wish this tasneen period is over ba2a!

Wednesday, just a wednesday

adeena 3amalna blog... we koll yom a7ott feh shewayet posts.. of course i like what i write, and i actually read them over and over again.. bas after a while i felt: tab w ba3deen... what's the use of getting people to read what i write...?

i myself find it interesting to read, read anything, to have a look at other people's lives & opinions and make sure that whatever happens to me or whatever i think of is normal.
Life has a certain routine for us.. yes it differs from one person to another bas on a level keda live's have the same "infra-structure" :D (ma3lesh el san3a to7kom)

so what do i get when i read people's writings?
Information? yes why not.. i will never see or know everything in life.. so why not at least get a glimpse upon new things (new 4 me).

Problems? everyone else has problems and for sure most of them have big problems, maybe bigger than what i could imagin... so i tell myself: it's ok:)

Entertainment? ok.
Advice? mmmm... e7temal, u may find a word in a piece of paper thrown on the ground that might tell u something u can benifit from.

so u see, i gave myself many excuses why i should share my "valuable" writings with other ;) just kidding
but isn't it nice to read what people u know well have written...

but the bad thing here will be: relating anything they write to their own personal lives! No .. it doesn't go this way ya nas! whoever enjoys writing.. cannot make every word he writes related to his personal life! akeed fe 7agat men el 7'ayal... so don't get smart with me,, hah :D

anyway... i really like this quote: "Always be a first-rate version of yourself instead of a second-rate version of someone else."

so i will be myself... welli mesh 3agbo ye2ra blog tani :D (aw yeb3at ye2olli eh elli mesh 3agbo ba3d keda ye2ra blog tani:D)

i didn't intend my blog to be an open discussion place.. i wanted it to be a place for u to find a nice word.. a good thought, or a sentence that can make you carry on when u've decided to stop.

a friend told me years ago that i can express human feelings well in my writings, and analyze why people do certain things... am not sure if u agree with him, bass i guess it's good to understand the inside of people so u can give better judgement on the outside! that's why u'll find many articles or poems about feelings, whether they r nice like love, admiration or high self-esteem, or bad ones like anger or jealousy...
i guess i just like doing this:)

have a nice Wednesday ;) (belmonasba tomorrow's thursday: ya3ni weekend... heeeeeeeee)

Some of my favorite quotes (1)

I have been collecting quotes for years now.. this is a selection of the best i have... and they really work if u believe in them ;) Enjoy.
************************************************

*Always be a first-rate version of yourself instead of a second-rate version of someone else. ---> Judy Garland

* If I won't be myself, who will? ---> Alfred Hitchcock

* Miracles sometimes occur, but one has to work terribly hard for them. ---> Chaim Weizmann

* Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless. ---> Mother Teresa

* If there's no wind, row. ---> Japanese quote

* There is no point at which you can say, 'Well, I'm successful now. I might as well take a nap." ---> Carrie Fisher

* I’m looking forward to looking back on all this. ---> Sandra Knell

* They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself. ---> Andy Warhol

* The man who has confidence in himself gains the confidence of others. ---> Hasidic saying

* "How does one become a butterfly? You must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar." ---> Trina Paulus

* Trust your hunches. They're usually based on facts filed away just below the conscious level. ---> Dr. Joyce Brothers

* Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday. --->Dale Carnegie

************************************************

Someday I'll Be Saturday Night... (one of my very best songs by Bon Jovi)

Hey, man I`m alive
I`m taking each day and night at a time
I`m feeling like a Monday, but some day I`ll be Saturday night

Hey my name is Jim, where did I go wrong
My life`s a parking basement
All the good shit`s gone, just can`t hold a job
Where do I belong?
But sleeping in my car
My dreams move on

My name is Billy G.
I love is bold and soul
I`m only sixteenI feel a hundred years old
My Foster Daddy went, took my innocence away
The streetlife ain`t much better
But at least I`m getting paid

And Tuesday just might go my way
It can`t get worse than yesterday
Thursdays, fridays ain`t been kind
But somehow I survive

Hey, man I`m alive
I`m taking each day and night at a time
Yeah I`m down but I know I get by
Hey, hey, hey, hey man
I`m gonna live my life
Like I ain`t got nothing
But this road of a dice
But feeling like a mondayBut some day I`ll be Saturday night

I can`t see my name or tell you where I am
I wanna roll myself awayDon`t know if I can
I wish that I could be in some other time and place
With someone elses soul, someone elses face

Oh, Tuesday just might go my way
Can`t get worse than yesterday
Thursdays, fridays ain`t been kind
But somehow I survive

Hey, man I`m alive
I`m taking each day and night at a time
Yeah I`m down but I know I get by
Hey, hey, hey, hey man
I`m gonna live my life
I`m gonna pick up all the pieces
And what`s left of my price
But feeling like a Monday but
Some day I`ll be Saturday night

Saturday night

Some Day I`ll be Saturday night
I`ll be back on my feet
I`ll be doing all right
But man it`ll be tomorrow babe
That`s OK
I ain`t going down
I`m gonna find a way, hey, hey

Hey man I`m alive
I`m taking each day and night at a time
Yeah I`m down but I know I get by
Hey, hey, hey, hey man
I`m gonna live my life
Like I ain`t got nothing
But this road of a dice
I`m feeling like a Monday but
Some day I`ll be Saturday night
I`m feeling like a Monday but
Some day I`ll be Saturday night

Oh, oh, oh
Saturday night
All right, all right
Saturday night

أغنية المسيح لعبد الحليم حافظ

i found this song by chance and i've never listened to it before.. bas it seems to be well written.. if someone has a link to download the song,, plz tell me.

ياكلمتي لفي ولفي الدنيا طولها وعرضها .
وفتحي عيون البشر للي حصل علي ارضها
علي ارضها طبع المسيح قدمه
علي ارضها نزف المسيح ألمه
في القدس في طريق الآلام ..وفي الخليل رنت تراتيل الكنايس
في الخلا صبح الوجود انجيل
تفضل تضيع فيك الحقوق لامتي ياطريق الآلام
وينطفي النور في الضمير وتنطفي نجوم السلام
ولامتي فيك يمشي جريح ..ولامتي فيك يفضل يصيح
مسيح ورا مسيح ورا مسيح علي أرضها
تاج الشوك فوق جبينه وفوق كتفه الصليب
دلوقت ياقدس ابنك زي المسيح غريب غريب
تاج الشوك فوق جبينه وفوق كتفه الصليب
خانوه... خانوه نفس اليهود
ابنك ياقدس زي المسيح لازم يعود ..علي أرضها

واثق

،طوبى للرجل الذى لم يسلك فى مشورة المنافقين "

"... وفى طريق الخطاة لم يقف، وفى مجلس المستهزئين لم يجلس

واثق أنت وإيمانك قوى. واثق أنت وثقتك تنتقل للآخرين

قد أصبحت قدوة يحتذى بها. قوى إيمانك وداخلك قوى
أصبحت بركة لكن حولك. فليباركك الرب
تصنع خيراًدون أن تدرى. ترد نفوساً لا تعرفها
هكذا تعمل البركة. هكذا يمتد النور إلى خارج الإنسان
لكن خذ حذرك: لا تترك أحداً يسلبك قوتك وثقتك
أنت على صواب فالرب يقودك
ماأكثر من يريدون سرقتك
لتكن لك المحبة والحكمة دائماً حتى تظل تشع نوراً للآخرين

(تأمل من المزمور الأول)

Fight Club

The movie "fight club".. is a very controversial movie... i hate it as much as i like it.. for those who haven't watched it i won't burn it i promise.

it is talking about the other side of people.. what we keep inside and hide from everyone else.. the deep human feelings and desires in its meanest and dirtiest way...
all the time the movie keeps u disgusted, hating every character in it, but yet having a slight understanding to why the characters are doing this,, and knowing that anyone can just be like them if he looses what he/she holds on to..

the hero is a very decent guy who works for a well known areoplanes company... he's a bit lonely but he keeps himself busy and just keeps on going... untill he meets the weirdest friend ever (who's Brad Pitt)
his life changes 180 degrees... and he starts to do & say all what he has never thought of doing or saying... and he thinks he is now free of modern life's ties.. (this was thru free fights)

There is a famous line that Brad says and is always put on the commercial: "First rule of fight club is not to talk about fight club. Second rule of fight club is not to talk about fight club!" he says it twice... which i think is pointing to the fact that we keep our "bad" feelings and deeds for ourselves and never talk to others about it, we want everyone to think we r Perfect... no envy or hatred, no low self esteem or anger.... we want to keep it a perfect picture..

the story goes afterwards aginst the expectations of any viewer (u might be saying: da elli 2olty mesh 7ate7ra2eeh:) ) yes i know what i am saying... the rest of the story which i didn't tell is much more exciting...

So this movie keeps u very interested till the last scene... and also disgusted as i said... maybe because u can never imagin that a person can hold such a mess inside... all the characters are psychos for sure :)

just a remarkable movie... it's not nice.. not sweet or ends happily, but it might teach u something... or might not... ;)

Just another day at work..

I wanted today to discuss one of my favorite movies... i will do it later but i have to write something about the day i had at work today.
First: i am assigned to 2 different projects that require 100% availability to each... yes 100% ..from the PMs mouths! it means i have to be 2 Lillians.. or just work at night:D
de lessa el bedaya...
Second: one of them i just joined yesterday while they have gone a while through it.. so am trying to catch up.. mashy... bass as a start i don't have a PC working! mine is being changed and it might be ready today.. omal ana sha3'ala 3ala eh??! i'm sitting on the PC of a colleague who's on a job mission out...
maaaaaashy
Third: i have no clue about this project and i was expected to finish 3 modules today.. each in 3 hours... da kalam gameel..
but i spent all day till 4 pm in just one! and i had to start it all over again 3 times! and in the end my Rational Developer exploded! it refuses to work properly! (ana 3ayza arawa7 :'( )
now i am installing the Rational on a different PC (it's 5 pm) and am waiting for it to finish .. to start my 3 modules!!
Fourth: the other projects lessa ba2a 7shta3'al feh gom3a we sabt 3'aleban :D

just another day at work :)
life's beautiful.. keep smiling :)

Goodbye

I came to say goodbye.
It’s over now, but I’ll never know why.

Days just went on.
And we never noticed when it was over, or when has it begun.

We thought it was best as it was.
We were naive, never looked at the future.

Things changed suddenly around us and quickly too.
We couldn’t adapt ourselves, or didn’t want to.

Now I’m saying goodbye.

Don’t try to change my mind.

I know well how it was, how it will be,

and what I’m leaving behind.

We thought it was best as it was.
We were naive, never looked at the future.

Forever is no little thing to waste on hesitation.
I’ll go on with my life, with some pain, but with determination.

Go on and trying not to look back.
Go on and wishing I could forget.

Things might get better after that.
May be our lives were strangled by our hands.

So goodbye, wish you the best with a new different road.
Don’t worry; life is so variant and broad.

A sweet memory will remain, with a sure smile.
As days go by, we’ll be surer of this moment,

and we’ll get it clear why we said Goodbye!

That's why

Because you are the one, the only one.. that’s why I love you.

Because you give me confidence no one else has ever given me, you tell me how special I am.. that’s why I love you.

Because you understand me clearly before I mention the words, you touch my soul in your special way that I have nothing left to say.. that’s why.

Because we can be talking for hours and not knowing how much time has passed, we communicate clearly and heartly. Hours are so short with you.. that’s why I love you.

Because we build together the castles of our dreams and our designs are much the same. Our colors too match together.. that’s why.

Because I am the one you run to when you are so happy or so sad. You are the only one I think of when I have any important thing to say. You are sitting on the first step of my life.. that’s why I love you.

Because there are plenty of reasons of why I love you, that I can never list all here.. that’s why.

What would you call this?

What would you call this? Let me first tell you what I am talking about....
It’s when my eyes see him, those first few seconds fly, and my heart bounces. Even if I am worried or frustrated, I don’t remember that in front of him.

We talk, smile and have a wonderful time that runs fast. Yes it goes fast but we never notice. We don’t have a certain idea in our heads when we talk, only the fact that we talk warmly.

We talk warmly and laugh from the heart. Time is not counted and words are not watched. Did you imagine how we look when we sit together chatting?

Did you feel how happy he can make me? It’s awesome if you did, but one last word: can you tell me what is this? What’s this thing growing between us? I hope I knew...

One day..

One day, Plato asked his teacher, "What is love? How can I find it?"
His teacher answered, "There is a vast wheat field in front. Walk forward without turning back, and pick only one stalk. If you find the most magnificent stalk, then you have found love."

Plato walked forward, and before long, he returned with empty hands, Having picked nothing. His teacher asked, "Why did you not pick any stalk?"Plato answered, "Because I could only pick once, and yet I could not turn back. I did find the most magnificent stalk, but did not know if there wereany better ones ahead, so I did not pick it. As I walked further, the stalks that I saw were not as good as the earlier one, so I did not pick any in the end." His teacher then said, "And that is love."

On another day, Plato asked his teacher, "What is marriage? How canIfind it?" His teacher answered, "There is a thriving forest in front. Walk forward without turning back, and chop down only one tree. If you find thetallest tree, then you have found marriage." Plato walked forward, and before long, he returned with a tree. The tree was not thriving, and it was not tall either. It was only an ordinarytree. His teacher asked, "Why did you chop down such an ordinary tree?" Plato answered, "Because of my previous experience. I walked halfway through the forest, but returned with empty hands. This time, I saw thistree, and I felt that it was not bad, so I chopped it down and brought it back. Idid not want to miss the opportunity." His teacher then said, "And that is marriage."

It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it,
but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

A true friend

Can you really find friends nowadays? They are very rare and precious to find now. Don’t know why everybody is too busy, or maybe too lazy to befriend someone. There will always be a reason to show when they blame us for not calling, or not giving much attention. Then after getting away with it more than once, it becomes normal. We forget the importance of having friends, and befriending others. It is still important for us to have friends. They can help you get through difficult times, in a way you never expect. The more you know your friend, the more grateful and content you will be. Don’t just hang out with your friend or grab him with you whenever you go: feel your friend, talk, and experience how deep and wonderful such a relation is.

Blush

When the eyes meet, the face blushes. The heart goes faster and faster, that you can hear it bombing. All that happens at a glance and the heat doesn’t fade quickly.
They call it physical attraction. They call it chemistry. They call it fate. What’s true is the blushing is real; and the heart is really pondering quickly. All that happens just to warn you: look, notice. The heart is really noticing and it wants to tell you how far it has gone.
After a while, it fades away. It goes off like a fire in strong wind. You only remember how it felt, but can’t feel it anymore. You remember what you thought, but don’t think that way anymore. You wish it would last some more time but that can’t be unless your eyes meet forever. Soon, you will meet those eyes again, and you will find your face blushing and the heart pondering.

Come and see me again

If you leave now, come and see me again.
Don’t just wipe off all the memories you’ve had with us. We won’t forget you, we can’t.
So don’t forget how we were and how we spent so much time together.
Come and see me again sometime, because I won’t stay the same forever. I will learn more, more of everything. I will open my eyes wider to the world, to get a larger and clearer picture. I won’t count days, I will live days without repent. A passing day is a new weight lifted off our shoulders.
I’ll go on, meet new people; laugh and cry alone and with others.
I’ll forget and remember; promise and keep promises. But there will always be a far memory of all the loved ones, and that will include you.
You too will be starting a whole new road. We can never avoid splitting roads, and we’ll always have to choose. You’ve made a good choice. Don’t you worry much; just keep your faith and your untouched sense of knowing right from wrong.
Bring us presents when you come back, but most important: bring yourself as much experiences as you can. The best thing you can do to yourself is to teach it useful lessons without the pains or hurts you might get. Learn to read things well without having to get too involved in bad situations. It’s not easy, but you will know!
Do you believe in super naturals? Because there’s an unseen, untouched bond between our souls, that will keep us connected. When I come across your mind, it will not just be a coincidence. At the same time I will be thinking of you, and praying for your success. I will also be wishing to hopefully see the day when you come to see me again.

Making sense out of nonsense!

Turning every situation into your own benefit; it’s not selfishness, it is wisdom! Just put your thoughts in order. Try to pass over the annoying things. It’s all in your hands. The joy, the pain, the anger, all of them are forms of energy, that either destroys or gives you benefit. Try to control that energy just by understanding where it’s coming from and where it’s heading to.

When you get hurt, you will not benefit from hating the ones who have hurt you. It’s either you make up a good excuse for what happened, or just go tell them you’ve been hurt. Don’t keep it inside. Don’t waste your energy on destroying yourself. Use this energy to confront them, or maybe confronting yourself. Maybe after all you are responsible.

Pain also can be used as a motive to improve things. May be things need to be revised. Pain and sorrow give you the calmness to start revising everything around and appreciating what you’ve got. Such calmness and undisturbed thinking can rarely be found in normal life events. See how you can fetch for treasures in a cold dark well!

You won’t stop discovering things inside you each time you get a new amount of energy. It doesn’t matter in what form it comes. What is most important is to learn to direct this energy into a safe direction, even if you think it is nonsense!

Why do i write..?

Why do I write?
I write because it gives me relief.
I write because I feel peaceful in doing so.
The best time of the day is when I pick up my pen, open the notebook and start shaping my thoughts and feelings on paper.
What a joy! What a relief!
To see parts of life: your own life, written in expressive words.
That’s why I write.
If I am sad, tears can be seen dripping from words.
If I am joyful, laughter shines through the lines.
Any kind of feeling will show, just by holding my pen.
The best of times, the wonders of feelings.
A fascinating whole world!
Like building up a house. Watching it grow log by log, inch by inch.
And in the end, watching it after it is done, admiring the work of the hands.
That’s why I write…
It’s bringing it all out, loud and clear, until we feel empty.
Then we start searching for new experiences to fill us up again!

UNSPOKEN

Sometimes the unspoken words are much sweeter than the spoken ones.
Sometimes unrevealed feelings are much stronger than revealed ones.
It may be well hidden, but as deep as you look into their eyes, you’ll find the truth.
At that time you’ll find no use of words, because the heart has said it all.
Looks and smiles can be so explicit, for those who look carefully.
Believe what your feelings tell you, they can’t be wrong if they listen to the unspoken facts.

Just a wish

This is just a wish, from my heart to yours.

I wish that you’d be happy, healthy and successful.

I wish to see you always smiling. I wish to see you going through life

enduring all its troubles.

This is just a wish, and I wish it would come true.
There is nothing inside my heart for you except the best of wishes

and the warmest feelings.

For you are my dear friend, I want you to be happy in the way you want.

For you are my best companion, I wish we would be together forever,

and we would be content with that.

Just warm and beautiful wishes I wish to you,

and may all of them come true.

The Heart

It’s not just a heart. Not any heart. It’s a woman’s heart.
It is a special heart that is smart. It’s a heart that can hold the entire world inside.

When this heart loves, you can set no limits. When a woman’s heart loves, miracles can be done. You will see wonders happening, people changing and other hearts singing.

It gives full trust to the one it has fallen in love with. You can’t stop the loving heart from making that one’s life a dream, full of surprises! It’s a life lit up by the power of love and care.

It gives strength to build new worlds, to fulfill the modest and wildest dreams.
You will wish you’ve been loved by such a heart, because when a woman’s heart starts loving, it never stops.

It goes on giving without asking; forgiving without blaming. Search for that heart until you find it....
..then, you will feel you have found a whole loving world…

Thinking out loud

For a long time I’ve been trying,
to let you see things without denying.

To come down from your ivory tower,
And finally admit you don’t have the power.

For a long time you’ve been blind,
But you wanted me to follow behind.

No sir that would never be.
Look to who yoou’re talking to , it’s me!

I’m sure you haven’t forgotten my determination.
I’ve always been here from generation to generation.

but sometimes you seem so far away.
Then like everytime you need someone to show you the way.

So come down and have a look.
And if you want I can lend you the book.
To see carefully who’s gonna manage things better round here.

let go of this tear

Hush now don't speak

u have become so weak

you lost vision of the track

you are lost and trying to get back

don't lose your strenght in blaming

don't go throw your pearls not caring

don't lose ur time complaining

but make a decision now to stop crying

chances won't come along unless u r strong again

there's more about life than what you've got

there's a lot of many beautiful things other than what you've lost

the pain must be too bad, i know

but try to give hope a space to grow

you won't do it for me... but for you

and it's your choice too

if you want to come back again strong

you've got to know what's wrong

words slip through your mouth revealing your pain and fear

so don't deny and let go of this tear

The tree

The long tree u see has become like this in years. It lay there under the ground for days and weeks, and then it made its way thru the heavy mud , and faced sun and wind everyday with its weak stem. The little pretty flowers around it scratched it with their thorns. When it grew a little stronger, monkeys climbed it many times breaking its branches. Many animals hid behind it and many hunters wounded it with their arrows. Rain and frost made its wood damp, then the hot sun made it dry again. Every season it would give the best fruits, and by passers just grab them and eat them all, expecting the tree to give more without any complains. Trees of other kinds would look at it and laugh, and mock at it just because it's different from them. Spring, summer, autumn and winter pass in their regular times and leave their prints on it, and continue to do so without its permission.The long tree u see have seen a lot, till that tall it can be!

Personal experience

i wanted to share with u this personal experience i had:
i think we all suffer now from the feelings that life is taking us in its waves and that all we do is work! work! work! !!

even the fun moments like going out with friends, or attending a church meeting is not that fun anymore even if we serve at church, it has turned into a habit and a part of weekly routine...we've all experienced that and felt somewhat helpless towards it we don't know the missing thing, we go to church yes, but prayers seem to hit the ceiling because the words are repeated..

so what to do? this was the question i have been asking myself for a while now, and i seemed to sink more every time i think of what i don't like about my lifei've always heard and known at church that parayers solve any problem and i have tried that myself before many time: thanaweya 3amma, college, family,.... and it really workedbut all those experiences seemed to disappear from my mind, and i began from point zero again: are my prayers heard? do they really make a difference? why do i pray while God does what is best anyway, if i ask for something that is bad for me and i don't know: what is the importance of parying anyway??and i began drifting away from "spirituality" and being a spiritual, close to God person.

To solve this i did 2 things: first i thought about it hard, i did not ignore the problem, i was thinking of what was bothering me, and what do i miss to make me happy? i found out that i do not miss anything, i just have to know i must be happy , for all the wonderfull things in my life... and even being busy with all life events and work are things to be thankful for because i have things to keep me busy and i have the qualifications to do all what i dosecind thing: i bregan trying praying again, praying for my problem part of which is feeling that praying is not that effectivei prayed, and i really asked God to help me, to send me strenght and bring me back to being spiritual again, and sensing unseen things instead of the materialistic things onlyand it happened, really happened that i found my self different all of a sudden during praying, God really listned to me and answered my prayer, and i saw at this moment the answers to my problems....
it was really great , i felt peaceful after that , and a special verse from the psalms rang in my ear many times: "يمين الرب صنعت قوة فلن أموت بعد" "God has gave me strenght so i shall not die yet"and today morning i woke up happy, and i even smiled at my brother when i saw him :)))))) how many of us do that at home :)))))))))))

so i hope if anyone is suffering from the same thing, i hope his will give him hope and strenght that things must be better if we really want them to be and ask God for itone last thing: DO NOT WAIT FOR A CERTAIN THING TO BE HAPPY, NO, BE HAPPY TODAY!, don't say i will b very happy if i get married or when i have a baby or when i get a new job, or when i go back to egypt (if u r living abroad) no try to be happy today, because these r days slipping away from u..
hope to hear comments from u

August 14th, 2003

My candle

They asked me where is my candle..

I said my candle has gone off; the strong wind blew it off just after it started to light brightly. The glow didn't go far when suddenly it was gone. I couldn't fight back the wind, neither did my candle. It was just blown off in silence. if u really want my candle light to shine again, please lead me on to a burning fire, to light up my candle.

~~~~~~

They asked me again where is my candle..
I said my candle was stolen while I was walking by lighting the dark street with it. I was trying to light things up for everyone, but a selfish soul took it away to capture the light just for itself. I am looking for my candle, I miss my flame. If you really want my candle light to shine again, please find the thief who took away my candle, and punish him for all the dark that came.
~~~~~~

They asked me again where is my candle..
I said my candle melted... Yes it burnt all the way through and was all melted down now. It shone for a long time and led others for a good way to go.. It melted because it was burning constantly, everyday and every hour. If you really want my candle light to shine again, please remember the times when it was glowing brightly, and the road will lighten up at once. I am sure all the light didn't go in vain.
~~~~~~

They asked me again where is my candle..
I said I don't know, I never noticed my candle, I never knew its light was that obvious. How did u know about my candle? How could u see the flame? I didn't care if it was lit or not, and now u ask me about my candle? I can't help you my friends, I have no clue about my candle. If you really want my candle light to shine again, please search for it with me and help me make it light for once.
~~~~~~

They asked me again where is my candle..
Believe me when I say I never owned a candle, never held it in my hand, never knew I should have a candle and never thought of fetching for one. If you really want my candle light to shine, please get me one and teach me how to light it up!
~~~~~~

Where do you keep your candle?!
~~~~~~